A
female
age
36-40,
*i_the_tree
writes:I have quite a delicate matter that i need to tell my mum about and just want some advice on how to go about it.Well, as those who have read my posts before, my ex and i have massive history together. Mum doesn't like him at all (mainly because of what he did to me)I've not seen or spoken to my ex for a few months now, but the other day he left me his number and asked me to get in touch as he had some things he wanted to say. Being intrigued, i contacted him, only to find out that the girl he dumped me for has been having an affair with a married man, and he was pretty upset about it all.Now despite all the hurting we went through, more often than not i have stuck by him and offered him support when he's been down in the dumps. So, knowing that she is a total skank i actually felt really bad for him, as he didn't deserve this!! He gave her a chance to change and be faithful, but she ruined it.Anyway, i went to see him today. He looked awful, but still managed to smile and have a joke with me, saying that i always knew how to cheer him up and make him feel better about himself. We hugged and cuddled and talked for a while about what happened. I expressed that no matter how badly things went for us that i would be there for him, but just as a friend. I know in my own mind that i can never be romantically involved with him again, and i told him this clearly. I also told him that my mum would kill me if she i was with him!!Thing is, if i continue to meet him occasionally (just as friends) i can't lie to my mum about it, that's not fair. How can i tell her that we are back in contact, but make her understand that i would never get into a romantic situation with him?I sort of have a theory that might make her understand. She has an ex that treated her pretty badly in the past. She is still in touch with him now (after telling him that they would never work as a couple again and would just maintain a friendship)However, knowing her she'll probably go mad anyway, and i hate it when she's angry at me, last time i told her i was back in touch with him she threatened to kick me out!! How can i break this to her gently?
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affair, married man, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (15 June 2011):
fi_the_tree is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for all your advice guys, the topic actually came about last night, before this question had been approved and actually posted.
I explained my reasons for being back in touch with him and said that i was in no way going to be romantically involved with him again. She wasn't mad, she just told me to be careful and said that she would be there if i needed anything from her.
I feel so much better now, she knows the truth and i don't have to feel awful for lying to her at all.
Thanks for all your help guys, appreciate it! :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2011): As long as you are careful and don't let your ex rebound on you or anything...
I would be honest with your mum. I understand what it's like being honest and having a good relationship. So the best you can do is just have a chat and try your best to explain how you feel. She may be mad, but hopefully she will come to see you are doing fine and acting mature. So she will be happy you are taking care of yourself. If she doesn't come to see that, well oh well, at least your conscience is clear right?
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE  +, writes (15 June 2011):
 At your age you can do whatever you want your an adult you dont need to tell Mum anything.
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