A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: How do you tell a friend that you can't see them anywhere like as much as they want to see you without hurting their feelings or even break the friendship off altogether? I have found him to be almost bordering on stalking and have explained to him that I just want to be friends, but he is wanting to see me far too often than I can manage. I also find him very boring and lacking humour to see too often. I see him as more of an acquaintance to see every 3-6 months or so to catch up with as I tend to have to do all the work conversation wise too and I am sure we would have more to talk about.My ex really hurt my feelings by saying he didn't have time to see me anymore (then 5 weeks later suddenly had time to consider going out with another girl) so I don't want to be that hurtful.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2007): The man that posted is right that sometimes you have to just be a little blunt about it.
Tell him you are much too busy to be seeing him, and that he is not to call you UNLESS and UNTIL YOU call him. That can be "this year, next year, sometime, never" - as you choose.
If he should get into serious stalking - waiting for you from work, coming to your residence, constantly calling and emailing, etc., you might want to consider talking to the police at some point, if he is really harrassing you.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2007): you have a gentle heart but honesty is the best policy - sometimes u have to be cruel to be kind.you can put it nicely but bluntly
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