A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:HiI've been seeing a girl for a few months now and have been enjoying a mutually very fulfilling sex life with her. Then, one day she told me that she used to fake orgasms with previous partners and regarded herself as a pretty good faker. I asked if she ever faked with me. She replied that she had, but not all the time. I told her that we need to find how to please each other and faking is doing neither of us a favour which she agreed with. She promised to never do it again.I just don't know if she is or not. Sometimes i'm not convinced. It was real easy to tell if my only other partner had orgasmed. It didnt happen every time we had sex but when she did orgasm, it was obvious (trembles, loss of breath etc)... so much different to with my current girlfriend.Are there any real tell-tale signs that i should look for? I feel that she thinks that if she was honest with me, that i'd leave her.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2007): I dont know about your gf, but when I have an orgasim I have vaginal and clitoral spasms. My bf can feel it very well... he usually stops and enjoys it with me... Plus, there is the obvious racing heart... trembles...shortness of breath, clutching of whatever in reach and the arching of the back. You can look for some of these signs or just ask her what she likes and go from there. I have to tell you, no woman is going to have the BIG O everytime. Not to say that its not enjoyable each time. Women are a fickle creatures. Take us as we are. ;-)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2007): i have only had sex with my gf a few times and she said she liked it but idk if she faked it cause she is to nice to tell me the truth should i be worried or just believe her
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007): The first thing you should do is one trust your partner. Whether she is isn't having an orgasim shouldn't be whats important. What is important is that the two of you genuinly care for one another and that the intimate time you spend together is relaxed and enjoyable. If it isn't and you constantly question if she did she will start to pull away from YOUR INSECURITIES about sex and it out come. Contray to popular belief and a stereo type found in most men a woman doesn't have to orgasim every time you have sex... yeah it would be nice but just because she doesn't does not mean that you are a good lover or that she is interested in someone else... it could very well be that though you are both engaged in a sexual activity she may not be fully into it for whatever reason and most likely that reason has nothing to do woth you. Just enjoy one another and don't put so much stock into whether she did or didn't just love her for the woman she is and believe in yourself that even though she doesn't orgasim everytime it more than likely has nothing to do with you.
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A
female
reader, jabey +, writes (26 January 2007):
sometimes it just does not happen, for no fault of you as a man. Someitme I orgasm easily othertimes its harder, just dont know why. And when my boyfriend is trying really hard to please me and make me come, and i know its just not going to happen its easier all round just to fake it. Because I am still loving the sex still very turned on, still loving my guy, and nothing is wrong. But ubfortunately a lot of men now feel very pressured to make us ladies come and when you dont feel dissappointed and like you have failed us. That is not the case, we love sex whether we come or not. My guy says he cant beleive that as a man that is the main goal to come, but for us women its the intimacy with you that we love, and an orgasm is just an added bonus. Also if i feel a guy is really desperate to make me come i feel more pressure to come, and then it is even less likely to happen. So just chill, keep enjoying the sex and dont worry. And just check she is happy and do what she likes and all will be well.And yes clitoral stimulation is often the key. And just loving the anoyomous guys reply he really knows what he is talking about. want him as my boyfriend!!!!lol
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2007): I think you are taking the wrong attitude about not trusting your girl's orgasms as real or fake, and you are on the defensive already about it...
She is opening up a dialogue here about her difficulty in the past of achieving orgasm through penetration. Many women have a difficult time getting to orgasm this way, but if you learn some techniques you can help her along...you need to learn to give her the kind of foreplay she needs, most women need at least 20 minutes or more of stimulation to come...talk about it, ask her if it feels right when you are doing it and let her hand guide you or let her tell you what she really likes and things should get better the more you practice....give her a break if she can't come, she still enjoyed the sensations and being close with you....don't get too defensive or worried about it or she will think that it some sort of goal she needs to focus on and achieve (which is part of the problem) instead of the sexual release it is supposed to be.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2007): well there are a few signs, but all may not be present, there will be hardness of the nipples, redness in the chest area and shoulders, sweat on the shoulders nest and chest, vaginal contractions. thats is the signs to look for, i know what you feel... i was dating a girl all i wanted was to make her orgasim felt like she was missing out! well the truth is most (im sure you have heard this time and time again) women dont orgasim through sex alone it takes clitoral stimualtion with vibrator fingers or oral, but even thats not deff. orgasim is probably 80% mental its like guys are born with the mental capabilities to acheive orgasim as its required for reproduction. i belive alot of women have never in there life acheived one and dont even know it! just because they cant go though it mentally or dont know how. i have tried this one method with one gf, made progres but never actually got there, (looking at the age i realize that this probably is a more mature girl.. so your in Luck!) i bought my gf a small clitroal vibrator for her to use alone encouraged her to use alone , kinda for her to practice and yes for a woman it takes practice, you know, she cant acheive one onher own she cant with me, once she learned to acheive one inher own way shecould educate me to learn to acheive one with me, but this may not be the case for you she may already know what she wants! (but also may not!) the most important thing is open comunication now this is the problem it sounds easy but the truth is its not, i found in most women when talking abotu it they spare your feelings and tell you everything is great even if they dont achieve orgasim,(and yes to women it can be great even without orgasim!) if you feel like that is happening be patient try diff things anyways a good start is come to bed with a vibrating bullet, let her control it while you have sex, also let her keep it! this will take a while especially if she has never really achieved one. the g spot is another thing you have probably heard time and time again, truth is its not as easy to get to as its made to sound because most cases women who orgasim through the g spot require clitoral climax or stimulation first which will cause it to swell makeing it able to reach when inside, and you could even reach it with your fingers very easy to feel once it has swelled a little, try diff positions to see which if more efective for you But dont forget the clitoral stimulation before hand! just take it slow and have fun!
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (26 January 2007):
 I once read that when a women orgasms her toes tense up completely but to be honest I've never been able to check out that particular bit of research cos I'm always too much in the moment.
CD
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2007): Unfortunately, there is no absolute proof. But when I have an orgasim, my skin gets damp, especially on the back of my neck. This may not be the case with all woman, but sex is a physical activity, which raises the heartrate and usually will produce a small amount of sweat.
Just remember this, women who fake orgasims are usually doing it for a couple of reasons. 1. To spare you feelings -- you may have wanted sex, she may not have been into it. But there's no reasons to make you feel like it wasn't a success. 2. She may not know her body well enough to achieve it each time. There are some positions that just don't work for getting us off. Oh, and there is one more reason but it's a painful one....3. Sometimes men just don't know how to bring a woman to an orgasm, and after awhile, we're tired -- we just want it to be over with.
Rather than worrying about whether she's telling you the truth, read up on the subject. Get good at it. Then the liklihood of a fake will be diminished and she'll think you're a stud.
Good luck.
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