A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Good afternoon! I was just wondering how to tell the difference between a woman trying hard not to show that she fancies a chap (since she may already be in a relationship/bequeathed to someone else for example), and a woman who blatantly just does not fancy a particular chap. I've come to this web-site in search of the answer since there's no such thing as 'masculine intuition'. Would I be right in thinking the difference is rather subtle? Hope my question makes sense. Many thanks for your help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2009): ...don't try to be her friend, mate, since she'll think you have alterior motives. Be a man and walk away. She'll respect you for it. If you weren't friends beforehand then she's lost nothing and neither have you. She probably won't change her mind but never say never - who knows what may happen with this other bloke. Ball is in her court so leave her alone and walk away - but remain polite with her.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (30 December 2008):
Eddie's got the right idea here I think.
If she just likes you as a mate, or she does fancy you a bit but is with someone else the result is the same. Nothing is going to happen.
Be her friend. If anything does happen then you can always try to convince her to leave her significant other. That depends on how much of a gent you are and how much you want her. Just don't be the other man.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008): If she was rude to your face and made sure that she introduced herself as someone with a partner,the woman is definitely not in denial.
Then its all in your imagination.Most of the time it is in the imagination.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (30 December 2008):
 Either way, she's sending the signal she's not interested. So unless you want to chase a woman who is out of bounds, it shouldn't matter.
Is the difference subtle? I bet it is. Let's say you meet a woman at a party. She is alone, friendly and you feel an attraction to her. She might even be attracted to you too. You talk, laugh and enjoy the evening. She may fancy you a lot but she might also have let it be known she has a partner. Despite the fact she enjoyed the evening and possibly even felt a pull toward you, she values her partner more. So in this situation, she has to put out the vibe she is enjoying herself as well as the signal she is ultimately unavailable.
A woman who is blatant about her feelings could simply be perceived as rude. You try to be friendly and she puts up a wall around herself.
The difference is that the friendly woman can also be perceived as being interested. That is unfair because her only other alternative is to be rude. It is up to you as the hunter to decide how far you push things. Once you push too far, the friendly woman might back off and put up the wall.
In the end, it is quite clear. If you find an attached, friendly woman who is unhappy in love, you may be able to chip away at her defenses. She may battle temptation because she is attracted to you. That is not a moral choice though.
I'd like to discuss this further if you like.
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