A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a crush on a guy but I can't tell if he likes me. I am very self conscious but none of my friends seem to take me seriously when I tell them I don't think guys like me. Everyone tells me I'm pretty and have a great personality but if that is true why have I never had a boyfriend. I'm 21. So I guess my question is, how can I tell if a guy is interested in me if he is shy? And how do I approach a guy without making a fool of myself?
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crush, never had a boyfriend, shy Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey guys,
Thanks for the advice. I'm making my move Halloween night at a party we are both going to. I'll let you know how it goes. Thanks again.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2007): If you are worried about rejection I suggest doing what the other posters said: approach him but ask him to do something socially , in the daytime is good, a coffee or a scary movie ( you dont want to sit alone! ) all these can be non threatening. That way there will be no pressure , and if he says no ( I doubt it!! )it wont like you are desperate or anything.
I too was always very shy and found it very difficult to approach girls. It really is hard for a guy as we are such pathetic creatures and us shy ones do not take rejection well. My wife actually approached me in a pub ( poor girl )we just started chatting, I certainly didnt assume anything about her because she started the conversation, and I'm thankful she did otherwise we would'nt be together now!
Of course if you have a mutual acquaintance, perhaps that person could broach the subject with him.
Good luck, and go for it girl!
of
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (3 October 2007):
 I'm fully with Dr. Phil. This is what we males would like to happen every time. Particularly the shy guys.
I'm also with Dr. Phil in wishing you all the luck in the world!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): I've found the direct approach to be the most effective in the past. If you fancy him, just go and ask him if he'd like to hang out with you, perhaps go for a coffee or something to start off with. If you need a bit of Dutch courage have yourself a stiff brandy half an hour beforehand.
Don't worry, you won't make a fool of yourself, he'll be flattered. Be prepared for him to say "Thanks but no thanks", and if he does, shrug your shoulders and leave it at that. If he's shy he's probably thinking he'd like to ask you the same thing but daren't just in case he made a fool of himself. But if he did, you'd be flattered and say "yes please - your place or mine?" or something similar.
Best of luck!
Phil
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