A
female
age
51-59,
*hazza2408
writes:I started dating a very nice bloke around 3 months ago, however lately I have started avoiding him as I cannot tell him what is bothering me and he is finding it very difficult as he doesnt think he has done anything wrong. I have found out that he will not use soap or shower gel because it 'makes him cringe', so he has a bath once or twice a week in which he just sits in hot water for 10 minutes and gets out. I find this repulsing but dont know if I'm over reacting? Also, we went away for a week recently and pooled our spending money, when I said I wanted to buy my nieces a few gifts he said no as this was 'our' money and I would have to use my own, he is normally quite generous? He is in his 30's, do you think I should end the relationship?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2007): Shazza, why are you afraid to come right out and say, "I don't like the way you smell, guy. Please use a bar of soap and shower everyday" Say it nicely but never be afraid of embarrassing him. You have to be in close proximity to him, you have to smell this. Be honest, be upfront. Tell him-today! Really, what's the worst that will happen? The worst thing that could happen, is he'll get offended and leave? That's silly, isn't it and your fears are controlling you in this relationship. Lay out your expectations clearly and calmly. Never, ever be afraid to tell a guy what you think. Give him a package of soap and tell him to get over his aversion to soap and just go clean himself. He after all..is a big boy. But please, set some boundaries with this fellow. As for the money issue, this relationship has been on going for only 3 months! Do not pool your money together. What is his is his and what is yours, is yours. Build this relationship more before you start calling the money 'ours'...tell him that! Good luck, dear
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2007): If you want him to wash more firstly give him a few hints, for example leave a towel lying around. If he still doesn't get the message tell him to wash more. If he refuses give him an ultimatum, either he washes more or you leave. Hopefully you are more important than his unhygienic ways. As for buying your niece's presents whilst away on holiday are you spending some of his money to buy them? If so stick to your purse and pay for them yourself. If you are just buying them with your own money tell him that you can buy whatever you want and give presents to whoever you want with your own money.
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A
female
reader, tkay1032  +, writes (17 March 2007):
 I think that he is dirty and it would bug me as well. As far as spending money he should not have cared if you spent some on family. You might want to sit and think.........Is this the kind of guy I could spend the rest of my life with??
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