A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I get along with my new boyfriend ok but he is not religious. He says there is no point and that I have no freedom. This upsets me that he has no faith but I try to ignore the comments. He believes we came from monkeys I do not. He believes in stem cell research I do not. Quite frankly it makes me mad that he attacks my faith. How can I tell him to keep his comments to himself without being nasty? Or is this not going to work a relationship with a person of faith and well I guess no faith? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008): 'He believes we came from monkeys I do not.'This pretty much says it all, you are as scornful and dismissive of his beliefs as he is of yours. Sorry - I just don't see how this would ever work!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008): Most likely it is not going to work out for you two. Try something my okcupid.org and see how half the questions are about religion/political views for determining who is a match and who isn't.
Opposites attract, but this only applies to personalities, an introvert matches an extrovert, finding balance together.
This does not work for opposite political or religious views. He thinks you are a gullible fool who is afraid of a beard in the sky, you see him as a soulles heathen who will be damned for eternity.
It isn't really possible for you two to agree, after all if he respects your faith, he would have to acknowledge that there might be a truth in it, and the same goes for you.
You try to hide it, but you are dismissive of his beliefs as he is off yours.
Sorry to say it, but it doesn't sound like you two are right for each other. Our believes, whatever they may be can be very important, a moderate religous person (someone who accepts that the bible is meant as inspiration, not law let alone source of facts) can make it with a moderate logical person (someone who believes in science but is willing to accept that the concept of a soul does not go against the laws of nature).
You two? Not a chance. Sorry. It would be like asking a socialist (a real one, not the tony blair kind) and a capatalist (a real one, not the US kind) to live together. Can't be done.
The only chance you have if you both got strong enough personalities to live in a relation of constant argument. Some people thrive on that, most don't.
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A
female
reader, Gena Bullock +, writes (11 March 2008):
 If you two are that much different, it's time you found another boyfriend. If you don't want to hear his comments about how he feels about the subjects you discuss, then you need to get out of that relationship. You can't make anyone change unless they want to change themselves.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (11 March 2008):
 We are all unique and different.
We do not think alike sometimes.
You can just tell him straight that you do not agree with his views and you don't have to argue about it.
Agree to disagree.
When you eat a fish , you eat the meat and throw away the bones.
When people say something you don't agree with ,
treat it like those bones.
You don't have to accept them and neither do you want to force people to accept your views.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): Dump him he is stupid and dose not respect you. He must have a hard time sleeping at night thinking this is it and he is going to be worm guts.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): I think you should tell him how you feel. If he realy likes you he would stop attacking your faith.You ought to tell him that everybody believes in something before they die. Oh and that answer you got from collaroy is wrong if we came from monkeys then why dont the monkeys at the zoo evolve.Why is thier even monkeys at all? If they were supposed to have evolved.Who made the monkeys and what and who made that big bang! Ponder over that one for me Collaroy
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (11 March 2008):
 Hi ,
Well I think you guys have absolutely no chance of surviving.
For one you complain that he dismisses your faith , yet on the flip side you dismiss his absence of faith with equal displeasure . You act as though he is the one who is suffering because he does not accept faith - this is such a narrow worldview and drives people like me up the wall .
You have to realise that no everyone is religious, and a lot of people believe in this thing called science over faith where actual mathematics and physics is used to prove theories not someone pointing at a bible telling us you have to have faith. So there are a lot of people out there who believe in the DNA that we share with our monkey brothers and that the world is not 6,000 years old. There was a thing called the Enlightenment, read up about it you might just learn something.
If you believe wholeheartedly in a supernatural being , then its a free country you are entitled to your beliefs, but if you want to find a soulmate, stick with someone from your church, at least they will share the same values.
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A
male
reader, Paladin +, writes (11 March 2008):
 You say you get along ok but obviously you don't. The fact that he has his beliefs and you have yours is not the basis for a breakup. However, the fact that he ridicules you for yours is. This is an issue of respect. Many couples live together quite well with their separate beliefs but that can only happen if each of you respect each other. You need to move on and find someone who will respect you.
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