A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I'm a 22 year old, just completed my varsity degree and have made a decision to move out of my parents' house now that i have a job- which i'm obviously very excited about... Been dating my boyfriend for two years now and everything between us is so perfect, he loves me and wants to spend the rest of our lives together. He's the only guy that really makes me happy, we get along very very well and i certainly don't see myself with anyone else either than him. He's also very excited that i'm moving places which will make it easier for him to make regular visits. He has always wanted a baby and i promised him that we will make one as soon as i'm done with my studies and i have a job... But now all that has happened, he went back to reminding me about it and he's really not backing down this time. I'd also love to have a baby but right now i feel i cannot deliver on my promise. I have this feeling of spending a relaxed time away from my parents without a baby! I need to feel the joys of being alone and having that independency. A baby's no longer on my list of priorities at this moment- not that i don't want it anymore, but i just don't wanna have it now. I don't know when do i wanna have it but just not now! The problem here is i know he's going to be upset when i tell him this because i had put it off for so long and i kept promising him and he has been patient with me for all this time and only when things have finally happened as we have been waiting for them to, i still tell him that its not yet time. I really don't know how to handle this one because i certainly can't lose my boyfriend because of this, i'll trully go mad. How can i make him understand, be patient with me AGAIN and keep him? I know he loves me and i'm the only person he'd love to have kids with but i think this will push him too far.. Pls help! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (3 March 2009):
 He wants a baby, that is nice but though luck, men can't have them. Women can.
Not to worry, ask a gf to have one for you. Sure why not. If he likes the baby then everything is fine, if he doesn't, well he can just leave.
Can't he? I notice that for all the talk about babies and future plans there is no mention of wedding plans.
He is asking you for a major commitment for the next 2 decades. What is he doing in return? Has he for instanced started saving for the baby he wants? Adjusted his life style? I wonder he wants a baby so much and what he is doing for it. That is missing from your story, as well as your decleration of love for him.
Sometimes it is important what is NOT said in a question on this site. You don't mention his job, his house, your love for him. Why?
A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (3 March 2009):
 Your only 22 you have your whole youth to deal with, I mean has he even proposed to you? I know I'm being old fashioned here but no marriage no baby! You have just finished your education I'm sure you want to put your new skills to the test.
You have every right to say NO, at the end of the day is he going to stay home and bring up the kid himself or will he want to go off to work and play dad at evenings and weekends till it starts crying and then hand it back to you.
Sorry I am very against men pushing for kids especially un-married ones, he can't even commit to you, will he seriously commit to the demands of parenthood, he sounds selfish and shallow.
If you saying you want to wait is a deal breaker you are probably best off without him.
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