A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so I met this girl the other day at a social event and I got her number. Well we went on a casual date and while everything went great something she did finally made me put two and two together. See I have this friend and you know us guys that like to brag about there sexual conquest well he one day told me about this girl who he had got with the previous weekend and really kind of went into detail about it which I usually don't care but when describing his night he told me about a tattoo this girl had on her thigh and well on the date we were on the subject of tattoos. She showed me she had one and Well lets just say the tattoo was in the exact place and the same one he describe. So here lies my problem, how is a nice way too tell this girl im no longer interested in her? I really don't want to purse this girl further because I don't date women that I know sexual things about. To me its just disturbing.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know alot off people are wondering that my friend might be lying but I know he isn't. He told me this story way before I even met this girl so him lying would be unlikely. The reason I didn't catch it when I first met here was because she goes by two names . Im sorry some of you feel that I need to grow up but I just don't like to know a girls history like that and date her and its not like I asked her then got freaked out.I respect a woman's privacy especially if she was my girlfriend. I just get grossed out that's all when I know a girls history and its a BIG turn off.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2011): If you must dump her because you now feel she is tarnished, (let's not beat around the bush here that's why you've gone off her) then be honest with her and say
"I'm sorry somebody told me something about you which leads me to believe you were sexually active with him. Therefore as I am not grown-up enough to deal with this, I must let you know that I will no longer have any further contact with you,"
Grow up!
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (31 July 2011):
 Don't lie and make up some lame "let's just be friends" excuse. You've decided to be decent, don't stop short.
But are you really decent? Is your friend telling the truth or did he embellish the story? Is this really the girl?
If you really want to be a stand up man what is wrong with the truth? Tell her the story your pal told you and tell her that if it is true, you'd rather be with a woman you don't have this visual about. If you like her, give her a chance to respond to the allegation.
I can see your point of not wanting the visual or to be with your friends ex conquest but what is the truth?
You will hurt her feelings regardless of what you say so how about just being honest? At least she will know and maybe you will give her the feedback she needs to make better choices in life. Then you can feel good that you were honest and that you made a difference in someone's life.
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (31 July 2011):
 Hi,
So funny...
Nicely, ignore her.. Don't call or ask her out anymore.. But, in case you run into her, be nice, polite, and if she ask you anything about date, feelings, etc, just nicely tell her that you enjoy spending time with her, but that you are not looking for a relationship.. :-) tell her you just want to be friends..(Then stop all communications at all and hopefully she'll get it) that's the best excuse!
Sorry things didn't work out between the two of you!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Celest  +, writes (31 July 2011):
 Congratulations on your qualities, first of all!!!
You should know that the most of the men, not just in your age but also older enough, either they would have done it already in a very bad way or they wouldn’t say a word so they would be able to use her in a sexual way that is . You have those information and that gives you a good reason to break up directly… but you ‘re looking for a nice way to do it! I think that this is remarkable!!!
Be honest is a good thing but it is not always the right thing to do. It is not good when you might hurt someone or when you have to betray a secret.
But I cannot avoid the thought of it might be a good idea for her to know the truth for her personal growth.!!! On the other hand this it might be a bit complicated for you, if your friend told you that as a secret etc. So this you can do it only if you want to, and after talking with your friend etc But depends on many things and I just felt to mention it.
Or else, the best way that I can think is to make a simple appointment. Let her know that you would like to meet her for a while, that you don’t have so much time. Be in a hurry and dont tell her more from the phone, an sms it might be better. When you meet her ask her how is she and then tell her simply that you would like not to date her anymore, because despite that she is beautiful/interesting/or whatever, you can sense that she is not the right one for you and you don’t want to spend her time and your time like this. If she ask you how is the right one for you, tell her that you dont really know but you will sense it when you 'll find her. Wish her luck. Let’s hope that she is mature enough to appreciate your way!
I wish you the best in your life, you ‘re a REAL MAN and a man of integrity.
Keep up that good spirit!!! All my best!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2011): Bro thats a little wierd. If you liked her before you found out your friend had sex with her, whats the problem now? I mean, do you believe EVERYTHING your friends tell you? Think about it. But if you must, then just tell her you dont date ex's of your friends or go out with the same girls your friends go out with. She will think you are stupid, but nothing you say is going to make her be ok with you.
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