A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My friend that I've known for about 4 years, okay let me add a back story first. She used to do meth, and I hated it I told her it was so stupid to pay money for something coffee can do. I got sucked in I took her to buy that stuff I didn't want her to get hurt, then she started using in my home! In my home! Not cool! But I remained friends with her. She moved to another state came back and she used again at her friends place.. Thank god. She went back to her home.. Cut to 5 months later. She calls my phone, and she admits that she used me like a puppet and she only started to hang out with me when I got my license and access to my moms car. I'm supposed to visit in July but after that phone call im not so sure I want to go especially after being told to bring money for "food, beer and cigarettes" When she came to my house I never made her buy her own stuff I was generous enough to let her have some of my resources. My question is.. Should I go down there and visit or stay hereOr how should I tell her I'm not coming down Please answer like your in my position
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (8 June 2015):
 She wants to use you, just as she used you before.
Her judgement is flawed. She makes very poor decisions and who knows what kind of people she is associating with now?
That she asked you to bring money suggests that things are not too rosy for her right now. She sees you as someone she has used and manipulated before and who she can use and manipulate again.
The old expression, about who you associate with can leave you tainted by association with those people if they are up to no good is :
"If you lay down with dogs you will get fleas" applies.
You've been generous before. So she wants to sponge off you. You were asked to bring money to provide support to her. Wow. What an invitation.
She used you like a puppet and next month she wants to use you again like a puppet.
If she uses meth she might be quite desperate for funds. So your car just might end up as payment to her drug dealer. Because Meth can make people more and more desperate.
I do not believe you nor your car will be safe with her. Meth can also make people extra ordinarily desperate and do horrible things. At the very least I believe you will end up completely skint with not even the funds to get you back to your state.
Here are three stories on the meth addiction and how it is affecting people.
http://www.prisonplanet.com/america-after-dark-desperate-meth-heads-rampant-human-trafficking-and-millions-of-criminal-predators-searching-for-a-new-victim.html
Meth addicts become more violent:
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/meth/body/
http://www.narcononarrowhead.org/meth-addicts-in-oklahoma-resorting-to-cattle-rustling-to-pay-for-drugs/
Keep your money for you.
Plan on doing something else.
Don't listen to her stories.
Don't tell her too long, leave it to the last couple of days or she will harass you to come on down.
But if she does start to harass you then tell her the following:
1. Tell her you've made other plans.
2. That the plans cannot be broken.
3. That it's not convenient.
4. And NO you do not have to explain what those other plans are.
If she becomes especially obnoxious or abusive or threatening then hang up the phone. You don't have to explain yourself when someone is abusive in the way they speak to you.
If she wants a loan (it will be a permanent loan - you will never see the money again) then tell her to ask the Bank.
If she says that the Bank will not lend her money then tell her that if the Bank, with ALL their resources, thinks she is a bad risk, well then since you don't have ALL the resources of a Bank you most certainly are not going to risk your money either.
And do not fall for the double dip switch.
That is where she asks for a small loan $5. Next day she repays you and reminds you that she can be trusted.
Then she asks for a $15 loan and she repays you later that week and reminds you, see I can be trusted.
Then she asks you for $20 and once again she repays it within a reasonable time, without you needing to ask.
You start to get more comfortable and trust her again.
So later when she asks you for a larger amount you don't even quibble. The end game is the amount she really wants to TAKE from you and once you hand over this "LOAN" she will be out the back door and you will not see her for dust.
It is time to break with her since she can do you no good and may do you harm or bring you into contact with people who could do you harm.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2015): you can just tell her "honey i met someone else so i cant be there for you anymore.Youll just have to find yourself someone else because i cant put you up here anymore either.Have a good life and stay out of trouble! Sorry i cant take your calls or link you up. "
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 June 2015):
 If I were in your position, I'd assume that I have been targeted as an easy mark which will provide generously food drinks cigarettes gas etc.for someone who wants to keep her cash for meth -or for other personal pursuits anyway. My friend ! She basically told you flat out in your face ! I don't think she is SO eager to see you- well, I am not saying that she hates your sight, probably she feels a vague sense of " friendship "- but all in all she likes you because she can bum rides and food and drinks etc. from you. What a lovely friend. I'd definitely skip the visit.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2015): Dont visit.Its a mistake.I cantsee whats in the frienship for you and the day the police roll up and she gets busted for her habit you will be going down too. Then she can use you as someone to write to once your in jail. Take a holiday in the opposite directions and forget about her entirely. No apologies..no excuses..no more seeing her...unless you have a strange longing to be detained with hardened criminals ..and no it is not the same as coffee!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 June 2015):
 IS she still using drugs?
If she is still using I'd stay away. I'd find better things to do with my summer.
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