A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello people, first of all I would thank all my friends for their kind support in my earlier question. I have a serious problem guys, I am 21 and my girlfriend is 18. I got hooked to a girl a year ago just for the heck of it!! She's the ugliest girl on earth and certainly not of my type but I feel for her love towards me and things went on and on. I seriously regret having done that because she is now badly addicted to me and thinks about me all the time. She has a very low self esteem and is very obsessive and stalky to me as of course I am her first love and have become the prince of her dreams! She is truly a heart caring girl so I don't want to hurt her or tell her directly as I am also afraid of the consequencies but care about her equally but I seriously wanna get rid of her as fast as possible. She has also started taking things seriously regarding our marriage, our childrens, going against our families etc please help !! Any plans? She is going crazy about me!! I am afraid of the consequencies after the break up as she is a psycho!
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (27 March 2009):
 I don't think she's psycho at all. She sounds naive to me. Most people are, and it seems you took advantage of that.
It's not only cruel to say she's ugly, as many posters have pointed out, it's irrelevant. If you didn't like the girl, why did you lead her on? Does she even KNOW about your girlfriend?
I think that you're just accusing her of being psycho in order to feel less guilty about destroying an innocent girl's hopes and dreams.
I think Daniel is right in saying that you don't want to face the consequences. Before you led this girl on, however, you should have thought about the consequences. You knew you didn't like the girl, you already had a girlfriend (which I doubt you divulged to this girl), and you led her on so you could have sex with her, and now you're worried that there will be consequences for you? I don't feel sorry for you.
You need to tell her the truth. Tell her that you're not suitable for her, because she's too good for you. Any girl is too good for you.
By the way, I went through something very similar involving a boy I knew years ago. I've gotten on with my life but I've no longer the naive, caring girl I used to be. I'm lucky because I have many nice guys as friends and I know there are some nice decent guys (there seem to be).
Sadly, the biggest consequence of your behavior is that there's gonna be one more girl out there who thinks that all men are dogs. Sorry, I shouldn't say dogs because dogs are faithful and don't usually turn on or backstab their people. You sound more like a snake.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): You should never be diplomatic when dumping someone, they'll never get it. Just tell her straight up that you're not interested anymore, don't even offer to be friends coz that might keep her hopes up. Tell her you want to move on and date other people coz you're not what she's looking for. If she has low self-esteem just tell her she'll make someone happy one day.If you're sexually active pliz do not have sex with her again. Not only will this confuse her but she might try and trap you with a baby.I'm not being mean but I've been dumped and have also dumped some guys. I've learnt being direct is the best approach. Any other approach prolongs the process.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): Well here's some female perspective: if you didn't want to deal with her then you should have thought about that before "hooking up" with her. Honestly, your question made me really sad. I know you're only 21, but you should know by now that people aren't walking pieces of meat for your enjoyment. If you wanted casual sex, would it have hurt terribly to find someone else who wanted it too? Instead of some poor girl with low self esteem to take advantage of?Saying that she's the ugliest girl IN THE WORLD makes me wonder about you. She probably feels bad about herself and is so relieved and happy to get some attention. How would you feel if this was your little sister? And some jerk treated her the way you are treating this girl? Let me tell you something: this girl may be ugly, she may be clingy and desperate, but she STILL has way more integrity than you.PLEAS PLEASE for this girls sake let her know what a douche you are now to save her any extra heartbreak. Perhaps it's an ego boost to have girls swooning over you, but it's time to grow up and have sex with other mature, willing adults. Just phone her up and tell her you used her for sex. Hopefully next time she will be able to spot guys like you from a mile away.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): the best thing to do in this case is to tell her...as i woman i know how it is to be in love...and the whole relationship deal..you need to sit down with her and explain to her how you feel...and PLEASE think of everyting your gonna say to her before you crush her world...if she tries to tell you how much she loves you and what can she do better to improve the relationship just keep your mind on your goal, and that is to end this relationship...please dont let this go on any further the deeper it gets the higher hopes your giving her and thats the worst part. tell her she is young and a good hearted human beeing and you APPRICIATED everything she did and the love she has for you, and some one will be happy to have her by his side. do not tell her shes ugly and not your type like you described it ...and the psycho part...well there is always restriciton orders...phone number change..just do the right thing first and deal with the consequences as they come.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (24 March 2009):
 I agree with Uncle Phil. By the way, it seems to me that she's not a psycho. It's just that you're afraid of the consequences.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): She sounds like my first wife. Not bad when I married her but ugly as sin these days. I think it's the wedding cake that made her put on 140 lbs.
There may be bad consequences, but you just have to tell her as plainly and simply as possible that you want this to come to an end. The longer you drag it out, the worse it will get, and the more psycho she'll get when the end eventually comes.
Being threatened with having your nuts cut off or being reprimanded by a pack of her male relatives is a risk you'll have to take I'm afraid. Buy yourself some body armour, shin pads and a cricket box just in case.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): Well, you certainly landed yourself in it, didn't you? Leading people on is never a good thing and I have little sympathy for people who do and find themselves trapped in unsavoury situations. That said, the time has come for you to confront her with the truth. You have to make her understand that you are not in love with her and no longer want to be with her. Let her down as easy as you can. Maybe not immediately but slowly, tenderly. There's simply no way of avoiding hurting her now, regardless of the consequences for you or for her. You've been lying to her and now you must come clean. Don't hesitate any longer. Just go to her and face up to your responsibilities.
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