A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,this is a pretty personal question and i am a tad bit embarrassed although it must be addressed. my husband and i have been together for 6 years, and up until about a year ago i used to like intercourse to be deep and rough. we experimented many different ways and it was never painful. Then i got the mirena and it was painful to me and him because he kept getting poked. I had it removed 6 months later because it caused a 4cm cyst (twice the size of my ovary!) on my ovary which popped during intercourse (worst pain ever!) and since then i can only tolerate shallow, slow penetration. anything other than that is incredibly painful and it gets frustrating because i get no pleasure from it and my husband cant really get into it because he has to focus on not hurting me. what gives? I know i should discuss this with my doctor, but he is a male that i hardly know and im not really comfortable asking strangers (granted i am on here, but you dont know who i am =D ) or how i would bring it up to him. please help and thanks in advance. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010): Well, the Doc will probably ask you why you are there/what the problem is, and you could just by saying that you are experiencing pain during intercourse, and that, as you said above, you can only tolerate slow and shallow penetration. And then it will go from there. He will probs take some details about your past medical history, probably ask for some more details about where the pain is, etc. But he won't want details about your sexual habits, but about the pain and problems you are having, so he can help out. Pain during intercourse is really common, so try not to worry about having to start the conversation.
A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (18 July 2010):
 You dont have to give him specific details of your sex acts if you are embarrassed. Just tell him that intercourse is causing you pain and respond to his questions from there.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 July 2010):
 He won't judge you. And I'm pretty sure he's heard/seen many stories that would make you blush. Write them down ( the questions) it might make it easier as well.
If you eel uncomfortable look around for a female GYN, make an appointment and talk to her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIm not afraid he'll think I'm gross and I have no problem getting a papy. I dont know why i dont have a problem throwing my legs up into the stirrups so they can see whats going on down there but i dont feel comfortable walking in and start giving this kind of detail about my sexual habbits. I guess i'm really just asking for an approach to this inevitable conversation.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010): Please don't worry; this is par for the course for a doctor. Doctors are trained to listen and give you medical advice based on what you tell them. His goal will be to treat your problem so that you can start having a normal sex life again, and that is all he cares about- solving the problem. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. He won't be embarrassed, or judgmental, he will be calling up his experience in similar cases to try and help you out. There's no more to it than that. I know to you it's a sexual and intimate issue, but to the Dr. it's a medical problem which he is going to help you solve. I hope I've explained that ok. Just tell him what you've told us here, there's nothing wrong with that. Just because he's a man, don't feel bad. As long as he is a good doctor, that's what counts. Don't let his gender get in the way, he's there to help you! Good luck!
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (18 July 2010):
 He is a professional, a doctor. Believe me, he's seen it ALL. He does not sit there going oh man women are GROSS. This isn't even gross, it's very concerning and could be serious. If he is a male OB/GYN then he's definitely seen truly disgusting things and removed things shoved into orifices. Trust me, this is just a normal thing. He wouldn't be doing this if he thought it was gross and women parts are disgusting. He's seen a million and one vaginas and anuses. He's seen a million colors for discharge, smelled a million infections and normal parts. He's stuck his hand up there a million times. This sounds like it could potentially be serious, so please get it looked at. Also maybe you should switch to a doctor you feel more comfortable with since you should be getting pap smears every other year (they now recommend every other year not ever year).
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A
female
reader, Waiting for an angel +, writes (18 July 2010):
Doctors are professionals who are more than used to seeing and hearing cases like yours. I'm assuming you're talking about a gynecologist; their specialty requires them to see and hear the most private things about women. Dont worry about it, he'll understand and wont judge you. If you dont like the way this doctor addresses your problems change doctors, there are great doctors out there! :) goodluck
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