A
female
age
30-35,
*lack=D
writes:Ok I havent written on here before and I have tried a few times but every time I write something it doesnt sound right so I never publish anything.Basically, I think I am in love with my teacher and have been for a few years. I will not go into detail about it becuase that is that bit that always goes wrong and I can never really explain how I feel. I just need some advice. He did teach me for a few years however I am in sixth form now and he is not my teacher anymore but I still see him around a lot and I really really want to be able to talk to him. I know people say just say 'hi' and smile and start a normal conversation but this will never work for me because I have not done that once in the past five years that I have known him so it would be weird if I just randomly did it now. Also I am quite a shy person and not confident enough to just start talking about nothing with no particular reason. The only time I can talk to him is when I need something but I cant start a friendly conversation from that :SI really need some advice because all I want is a conversation and not to be awkward with him but I have no idea where to start. Any help will be much appreciated. Thanks x
View related questions:
my teacher, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Slack=D +, writes (21 February 2010):
Slack=D is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks that actually really helped :)
and since I posted this I have spoken to him quite a bit. Well last week I stayed behind after school quite a lot to catch up with work and he was the only one about that could help really so I managed to ask him stuff about work which led onto noral conversations and it has actually made me happier around him then I had ever been.
But now we have had a week off because of half term and im scared of just starting a normal convo when I see him again because just because he helped me loads..he might think that doesnt mean we're like on randomly talking terms all of a sudden if u get me?
lol. but thats me prob just being paranoid :P anyway thanks for ure advice :) xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010): I have exactly the same problem as you, well I used to.
I like my teacher at school, but he doesn't teach me this year, I used to be so afraid of speaking to him, and if he said hi I used to go bright red and mumble. But this year I decided that if I didn't want him to forget about me, and just see me as this random student he used to teach, then I needed to talk to him about just stuff. So now if I see him and he says hi, then I just say hi back, then if he asks me how I am, I just tell him and then just say 'how are you' and go from there, so you can always do that. I know it seems as though it'll be a really hard thing to do, but actually, I find once you've done it once, it's really easy, and if there is anything you know he's interested in like sport or films, then ask his opinion on it.
But I understand you're worried he might find it weird if you randomly say hi, but actually he probably won't, and if he doesn't say hi to you, start the conversation and say like "hey remember last year when you said..." for example and then think of something that happened, and then make something up that could be relevant, or say "hey, you ok?" - just ask him, and he seriously won't think you're wierd, teacher's like it if you talk to them like they are normal people.
This sounds really wierd, but if you're really shy, practice what you're going to say, and then think of how he will react, i have found that really works, and eventually you don't need to do that anymore.
Hope I helped!
...............................
A
female
reader, kitty_3  +, writes (17 January 2010):
 does he have an office or classroom he's usually in? if so, try going in before of after school one day and tell him that something you saw or something you learned in another class reminded you of his class, etc. and it reminded you of him. you could also just go in and say "i just wanted to say hi." trust me, it won't just be up to you to keep the conversation going! he'll probably ask how you've been and about your classes. it's never as difficult as it seems! :)
...............................
A
female
reader, Slack=D +, writes (17 January 2010):
Slack=D is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo he is not married and thanks your answers have helped but I know that it is illegal and I am not planning on 'making a move'. I just wasnt to hold a normal conversation with him and Tisha thanks for your answer but its not the shyness really... coz even if i get the hang of it I will be afraid to approach him not becsuse I cant say anything but because for the years I have known him I have NEVER done that to him so it would be weird if I started doing it now.
I dont think he is perfect I know he has faults but I just wanted to find a way to be able to talk to him in a way thatis normal. I need an excuse because in my case it would be weird if I went up to him and just said 'Hi'.
Thanks anyway x
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 January 2010):
 A while back, an uncle on here advised a guy who was really shy but wanted to get to know a girl better to go talk to everyone he met. Like the cashier at the store, the driver on the bus, just basically treat everyone he met as though he needed to learn something personal about them. Get a job where you are in front of the public and have to talk to people. I thought that was great advice. You say you are so shy you can't start a conversation with this teacher. Well, start conversations with other people until you get the hang of it.
Part of your issue is that you've got this man on a pedestal and have built a fantasy about him. Once you recognize that, and figure out he's a real person, with real faults and quirks and traits, you'll realize that what you're suffering from is crush nerves. A little dose of clear-eyed observation may show you that he's not the perfect man you think he is. Is he married? If he is, I think it would be best to admire him from afar. If you've been in love with him for years, then you can wait until you're out of school before you approach him. You don't want to ruin his career, do you?
The only way to get good at something you're not good at is to practice. So go start practicing! Then by the time you're out of school, you'll have some confidence in yourself and your conversational skills.
Take care.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 January 2010):
It can't work. Even if he did really like you, it would be illegal for anything to happen and he could lose his job and even go to prison. My advice to you is to admire this man from a distance, but accept it can't happen.
...............................
|
