A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So i have been dating my boyfriend for almost 5 years. We are 20 now and have been dating since highschool and I assume a lot if my issues are from unresolved conflicts in my life.I randomly get this feeling Like he's going to cheat on me or leave me for a girl.It gets so bad sometimes that I think when hes on his phone he could be chatting to another girl or if I am sleeping and I wake up in the morning to him on the computer I think he's talking to another girl.He's never cheated or even been intimate with anyone else but myself. I feel terrible for thinking such things.I have no idea why I have this( I have never been cheated on) and I dunno how to stop it. I feel like it's ruining my moods and it hurts me inside. And advice would be great. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (15 November 2011):
 So your paranoia may stem from previously feeling worthless, even lack of trust in friends. People have discounted you, so you start discounting yourself.
Maybe you have thoughts of you aren't good enough for your boyfriend, that he'll see that and find someone better?? Guys have tossed you aside so you're just waiting for this guy to do the same. Did you ever think that those guys had the issue? You did what you were supposed to in the relationship but at the end of the day, the break-up was there problem.
You doubt yourself a lot, that this doubt is starting to trickle into your relationship. Be careful. Don't get to the point of where you're vocal about your paranoia..then your boyfriend will dump you.
At the end of the day, I see what's going on here..but like I said you need to continue on with a counselor. It helps to talk to someone who doesn't judge you, isn't your friend, and can give you third party advice.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIssues Ive had?
Nothing major but I have had a variety of people back stab me or made me feel unworthy in my life.
My parents didn't marry till I was 15 and never seperated.None of which I believe have never cheated.
The only issues i've ever had with trust is in highschool with boyfriends in friends.
When I was in Grade 8 , I dated this guy from my old school who litterally dumped me by saying I was 'too much' for him to handle and that I required too much of his time. It hurt because It felt like there was something wrong with me.
When I was in grade 9, I had another relationship and that ended up with some damage that I had to see a councelor for. For that reason, it was the same feeling of basically being unwanted or useless.
When i was in grade 10 my friend turned everyone against me completely so I ended up having not a single friend for something I didn't do.
Even so, I still have no idea where the 'cheating' aspect comes from. Never been exposed to it or experienced it.
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (15 November 2011):
Elaborate on these unresolved conflicts in your life. It's necessary info.
Are your parents divorced? Has either spouses cheated?
Without knowing more of a background about you and the above info, I can't tell where your paranoia stems from.
What solution I can give is for you to see a counselor to talk out your paranoia. They can properly address your personal issue and give you a permanent solution.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2011): I think the best thing for you to do is to try and make a concious effort to fight these feelings. I can understand where you are coming from, but if he has never given you a reason to doubt him, then your feelings are unfounded are they not?
The way i see it, next time you feel like this, dont think about it, think about what a good relationship you have and how its good to be with someone who cares about you for as long as you have. It should help you out. If it doesnt and the feelings persist or get worse, you might want to consider talking to a counselor or another professional.
...............................
|
