A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:when i split with my boyfriend 4 months ago i found it so hard, we was only together for a year but i love him so much. when i found out he cheated it broke my heart, i cryed for 2 months and wouldnt go nowere but mop round. i am much better now although i do still think about him alot and do still have feelings for him iv realised i didnt deserve what he did to me. the problem is i feel i cant trust another boy and that they are all like my ex. i admit i have been on dates and met up with boys, and have been texting them, but once we have sex im the one that stops contacted as im scared of going any further and being hurt again. i know i am not ready for another realtionship and am just having a bit of fun, but feel im not going to met 'mr right' and will be alone all of my life, due to me not being able to open up to another boy and trust them. could anyone please suggest anything that would help me get over this and make me stop worring of being alone all my life ?
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female
reader, crummyscreenname  +, writes (30 July 2011):
I don't have any advice for you because I feel the same way sometimes. Except- the more you focus on things, the more likely they are to take shape in your life. That's why you need to focus on good things that you want and spend no time thinking about what you don't want.
A
male
reader, der_zyniker  +, writes (30 July 2011):
I would take some time away from dating for a while until you feel that you are ready again. I had a friend that I love and when he found out he wouldn't come anywhere near mean. He was someone that I felt I could trust and he in a way betrayed me, but it's all in the details in my case. But it took me over a year to get over him. It takes a while to get over losing someone you love and being betrayed by someone that you trusted. Until you feel that you are over this, I think you need to spend sometime alone. Once you do start dating again, I suggest that you don't have sex with that person until after you feel that you can trust him and have been open with him. Then it will be much less likely that you will cut off contact with them after you have had sex with them.
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A
female
reader, Celest  +, writes (30 July 2011):
 Hello dear!!!Is just so very soon, it will take a while you know... you will definitely not end up alone... you re so very young... take some time doing things that you really like... spend some time with your friends and your family.. but also find the time to be alone and enjoy yourself and this is the most important thing, if you ask me. If you re not feeling ready for a new relationship then don't go on dates yet... When you re in a hurry to be in a new relationship usually it is not the right person or the right time. I dare say that you shouldn't give yourself easily to others... of course it is a try and you never now but at least be ready first.. I mean to have sex with someone when you claim that you still have feelings for somebody else it will not help you at all and it cannot work out.. take care of yourself, this it will save you from a possible abuse...Is like you get punched in the stomach... and now you re standing on the floor... IT IS OK... as long as you have in mind that you should get up soon... and move on... you will feel better later. Take care of yourself and move on! All my best!!!
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A
female
reader, tiffanylovepandas +, writes (30 July 2011):
 You're still young and you still have a long life going for you. Don't worry about being end up alone for the rest of your life. Take your time in trusting people. I, myself have problems trusting people; especially guys. Maybe if you just keep meeting other people, you'll get over your ex and finally find someone that you can trust. Don't be scared because life's full of risks. I hope you do find "Mr. Right" one day. Good luck (:
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