A
female
age
51-59,
*ooma
writes:hiI've been with a guy for 19 months - I did everything for him, he lived in my house, I fell truly madly deeply in love. Suddenly he texted me one day and said he wasnt coming back. I was left utterly heartbroken, depressed, the sadness when I had to look around my house was horrendous.However, it was never a clean break - we even had a holiday in the middle of it = he kept texting, wanting me sexually and constantly visiting me and sleeping with me. This continued to last week, till I found out he has a new gf, and has been stringing us both along.The hurt and grief is just as bad as it was before. He has never shown any remorse, and I've been a fool because I've been so in love.How can I stop this overwhelming feeling of grief and sadness, and hurt, and disbelief? How can I get him out of my head?How can I keep from hoping every time my fone beeps that it is him? How can I regain my self respect.I'm truly heart broken and feel I just want to curl up and die. I've never loved anyone like him in my life, even though he has hurt me and treated me badly.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009): thanks very much ladies for replying.
its just night times and mornings i find the worst, and because the house is full of his memories. i can hardly even go to the shops and places we used to go to together.
i will try and take all the advice on board, i think time is indeed the only thing which will help me.
thanks again
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009): Oh, I am so sorry you had to go through that. Time will heal you. But you have to take steps to ease the pain as well.
When you feel the thoughts of sadness and missing him, stop yourself! Replace those thoughts with memories of how he has hurt you. How he has hurt this other girl as well. Just remember that he is a user and a player. It's not you, it's him. Try to use this experience as a learning tool with future relationships. Recognize Red Flags!
In the meantime, take care of yourself! Do things to make you feel better. Get your hair done. Buy a new outfit. Shoes! Anything to boost your spirits. Spend lots of time with single friends.
It's not easy but, you will get over this!
Britt
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (15 May 2009):
 Well, a good start is to look at him and what he did to you. ( and to his new gf) Really what kind of man would treat a women ( or two) like that?
It is ok to mourn the end of a relationship, but you need to understand that wallowing in it is only hurting you.
Delete him number from you contact list. Block his calls.
Do NOT contact him and if he somehow still gets through to you or shows up you need to think of YOU. Ignore the man, YOU know he ain't worth a pot to piss in.
Once you get to feel a little bit better it is time for you to get out of the house. Go out to a movie with friends, to dinner, find a hobby or take a nightclass in something you have always wanted but never did.
Pick up a good book, grab a blanket, sunscreen and go find a spot some place and read. Or just watch people.
You need to realize that you DO deserve better. The guy was a jerk. You know it.
I know it's hard to see that someone you gave so much too turned out to be such a creep. But look for the silver lining. At least now, he's someone else's heartache, YOU can move on and hopefully in the future meet a guy who truly deserve you.
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (15 May 2009):
 Well the key to stopping feeling this way is time! You need time to grieve before you can move on, feeling this way is a natural part of a breakup! Give it a few weeks and you'll start to notice that you don't feel as bad! It can take years to get over someone, everyone is different. Keep busy, get a new hobby, these things will help take your mind of him! And you are already gaining self respect back!!! Don't contact him and turn your phone of if he calls! X
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