A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:How do I get over thinking about a former teacher. I’m 21 years old and ten years ago, I had a huge crush on my teacher. Whenever I felt I needed to talk to someone he was always there. He was also the reason I became so close with my best friend because he partnered us up (my best friend is also female). I couldn’t stop wanting to talk to him before. Though I forgot about him when I entered high school and met my boyfriend in sophomore year. Then after that a friend of my boyfriend’s who knew that teacher told me he went to the same middle school as me. He’s two years older. This friend told me that teacher was gay with a husband and two kids, so I let it go. Now, recently I’ve been having dreams about that teacher and I wake up with my heart racing the same way when I met him. None of my dreams are not sexual but it’s always about the two of us talking and reconnecting. How can I make this stop?
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (31 October 2017):
 Thanks to Denizen, I'll add a bit of additional advice.
The fact that this obsession is something you want to be done with is a good thing. Often people have unwanted thoughts. Dreams can trigger them. In fact this morning I woke from a dream that made me feel very insecure. It has affected my whole day. I feel nervous and have trouble concentrating. But like you, I know that the dream is not real, it has no real effect on my current life. To keep it from coloring my life I need to put it in it's place.
Your memories and dreams can affect your real life as well. and like me you need to put those things back where they belong. One of the most effective ways to avoid unwelcome thoughts is to have some better thoughts to replace them with. Some suggestions could be: art, friends, religion, music, hobbies, or simply journal writing. You need to have something ready to go when these thoughts come, a quick escape for your mind.
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (31 October 2017):
 If you were giving advice to the person who wrote this post then what would you tell them? Read back what you have written and ask yourself what you would say.
Hundreds of people, mostly women, have written to DC with 'crush on teacher' questions. You might look into the back catalogue here and find the advice that has been laid down previously. You see, you are an adult but you are still acting like a love-sick teenager. I hope you can rationalise your feelings before this gets out of hand.
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