A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi,well where to start. i really like this girl at work, and i'm not sure if likes me back. we are quite good friends, flirt around, etc. however, i don't really want anything to happen between us because i'm very busy all the time at work, and she is engaged. this has stopped me approaching her about it, because if i ask her it could make things awkward for everyone at work, and could ruin this guy she's engaged to (if she likes me back, etc). i just can't seem to get her out of my head though. also, i get very jealous when she flirts with other guys. there's this one guy at work who she seems to be getting closer to all the time, and i can't help being jealous. i really don't know what to do about this, as i gradually like her more and more as time goes on. any help?
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at work, engaged, flirt, girl at work, jealous Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2008): I don't understand why a woman who is engaged is flirting around with guys.If she talks to everyone its not wrong.But flirting is not good at the office environment level.
It spoils the official environment.I suggest you find someone who is single and available.She is engaged to another person.So she may see it as harmless.
But flirting always leads to problems.There are people who take it seriously.It would be safer not to flirt.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks guys. really good advice, helped me put it in perspective a bit more. wish i would have posted this issue a lot earlier, would have saved a lot of confusion.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (18 December 2008):
She's engaged.
She sees you as a friend and flirts with everyone because it is fun to flirt.
Nothing is going to happen with this girl and you even say yourself you don't really have time for a girlfriend.
My advice is to get out with your mates for a night out and chat up some new girls. Have a drink a dance and a kiss. Get this colleague off your mind.
She's not interested and you should respect that.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, Crafter  +, writes (18 December 2008):
 She's engaged - end of story.
If she had a boyfriend, yeah, it's gray area, but once the ring has snapped you gotta back off. How would you feel if someone tries to snatch your wife? Probably not all that fresh.
And if she flirts around (actual flirt, not a fling) then I say that she has some issues of her own. People should really learn how to take responsibility for their actions.
I'm gonna tell you what I told to the previous guy - get out and start looking. Don't bind yourself to a small circle of friends and colleagues. Broaden it a bit and you'll find some new horizons. Once you start being more social, you'll realize that what you have for her is a fling. An excuse to be "in love", because there is no one else to be in love with.
And there is also the forbidden fruit/social mirror where you want what you can't have, because someone else already has it.
Don't do it to yourself. Find someone that will make you happy.
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