A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Since starting her new job, my friend has been telling me that I’m well suited to one of her colleagues. Although I've never met him, she's also told me that he fancies me - based on what she’s told him about me and photos he’s seen. All this has sent my imagination into overdrive to the point where I’ve become infatuated with the idea of him. But since then, my friend has fallen for him and they’ve become very close. She’s newly single, has been sleeping around a lot and, although nothing has happened between them (yet!?), she’s now told me he is out of bounds. She’s also told me personal information about his sex life which has started to make me question him, as if I’m dating him. Despite this, she still regularly hints that he fancies me and keeps implying that we will get together. I know it’s my own fault for getting carried away with my thoughts, but I am really frustrated with my friend because I feel like she’s been messing me around: telling me we’re made for each other, making me like him, then telling me he’s off limits, that he’s slept around a lot, but continually implying that he fancies me! I feel like I’m going through the ups and downs of when you start dating someone. To make things worse, she’s become obsessed with him and has told me that he’s her new best friend (as if we’re 7 years old or something!) I know this is a classic case of overthinking but now I’m worried that I will be upset if something does happen between them, even though it would be totally unjustified! How can I stop myself from mentally dating him and getting worked up about it?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (28 January 2016):
 Pretend that he is a fictional character from a TV show and let the notion of dating him go.
The fact that she is creating ALL this drama over a guy, you have never even met is ridiculous. And I think her mentioning bad stuff about him is because she was jealous of him liking you (the picture she "drew" of you) and not her. She was introducing him to info about you, NOT because she REALLY wanted to find you a BF, but to gain his attention. And now that she got it, she no longer wants you in the picture.
So IF you are looking for a BF, this guy isn't it. And if I were you, I wouldn't rely on HER to find you one.
It's like one of those stories you hear about Bridezillas where one "friend" goes dress shopping with a bride to be, but wants to be the one trying on all the dresses (even if she is still single). JUST for the attention.
So in your mind either "break up" with the notion of this guy or pretend he is absolutely fictional or married (I say married because that should leave him off-limits).
There is just too much drama going on with your friend and this dude and I don't think it's worth pursuing.
A
female
reader, Petina57  +, writes (27 January 2016):
 It's obvious that she has used you as a chat up line for herself to get to know him. It's her that fancies him really. Sounds like you are the scapegoat to me. Let them get on with it and try to look in other directions for yourself. Let her know that you don't need her to matchmaker for you. This man could come between your friendship. Wish her well and try your best to not be distracted about someone you don't know. Hope this helps
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (27 January 2016):
 It sounds to me like your friend is trying to make you jealous. It seems she built up your hopes only to tell you that he is off limits and that she likes him. She has some issues by the sounds of things.
Okay look yes your feelings have been messed around, but you haven't actually met this guy or had a conversation with him, so at the minute the fantasy has all been built up in your head.
Its time to stop all this, if your friend mentions him again tell her you are not interested hearing about him any more. Forget all about him, and forget about her, for all you know he might not even know that you exist. Let this one go and hopefully you will find happiness soon.
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