A
female
age
36-40,
*weetnsour027
writes:My current situation is I am dating a guy. After every date and the following day I am constantly wondering if he is going to call/text me. He always has. I grow very worried that he must not like me, which then snowballs into me overanalyzing what I could have done wrong the prior evening. He seems like a great guy that I would really like to get to know and see where it could go. I've been told to just "play in cool", but that is hard. I feel the reason I may think this way is because in the past once a guy doesn't call/text me as often, it usually doesn't work out and eventually I never hear from them at all. I know I shouldn't dwell on the past but its hard to think otherwise when that is all I have seen. I've been told that I may be the type to always want a man in my life, for that approval facet. But I would like to stop that thinking and be independant, regardless if a man is in my life. I do put in an equal effort with calls and texts but nothing too much that would scare him off. How can I keep my mind off him? Why do I fall so fast and get emotions so fast? Why do I constantly think, "he must not like me"? How can I stop this behavior?Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I've been thinking of talking with a conselor but would like to see if its something I could take care of on my own.Thank You :)
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, visione +, writes (1 February 2010):
 Just be content with yourself. What if he doesn't like you? His loss! If he is worth your time, he will like you. I'm also a person who like to analyze things, and think things over and over - and nitpick over things that have already happened. Just relax, you should feel comfortable in a relationship. Look over the positives - you said he has always called/texted right? So what is there to worry about? Just trust him.
Also, don't feel like these feelings are -bad- feelings! Everyone has them to some degree, and it's actually good you feel them - you want him to like you and feel like impressing him.
Love yourself and you'll realize you don't need a man to make you feel happy. :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2010): You can't stop those thoughts really that is just your personality, just try to keep busy and do other things.
Just make sure you do play it cool around him, don't let him know any of this and don't start freaking out about little things or he'll think you're needy, desperate and clingy. Even if those are traits you seem to have.
I used to get like that but for me it was because I hadn't dated in so long that when a woman came into my life it became a big deal in my mind, the way I dealt with it was to just go out and date more.
Sit down and consider what your priorities are in life and ask yourself if having a man really is that important to you and why. Try to rid yourself of that mindset if it is the case otherwise you'll just end up entering relationships on an unequal footing always wanting too much too quickly.
Perosnally I'm an over analyzer but I have great friends that bring me back down to earth even if they are sick of listening to me. For me over analysis works though, because I've already examined all the variables and things rarely surprize me. Just make sure it doesn't affect your life, sleep pattern, diet etc. If it is then yeah, a counsellor might be a good idea to teach you coping mechanisms if not just to have someone to talk to.
...............................
|
