A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I was seein a couple of lads a while back (not at the same time!!!) who were nasty to me so I ended it. When it comes to love and stuff, Im very weak - always giving in, chasing them etc. But on this occasion, I have cut all contact for which I am quite proud. But now Im single and bored and I keep getting the urge to text one of them to hook up sometime.Why??? They were bad to me and i think they were quite shocked that I have walked away and not ran after them. I want it 2 stay that way but sometimes I just wanna call one of them up. I did like them both alot so I guess I still fancy them? I just want someone to say NO!! To tell me wot Im doing is right
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (13 April 2008):
 It is simple, getting out of abusive relationships ain't easy, it is a lot of small steps on a long journey.
With every step you take getting out, what you got ahead SEEMS like loneliness while you start remembering the good times in the the past and forget the bad.
It is important to remember that better things lie ahead and that you don't forget the bad things in the past.
You don't "fancy" them, you fancy the good times you had with them, the feeling of being in love. If you still fancied them you would be with them getting treated badly.
You got out of that, just try and remember the reasons. Write it down and post it by the phone if you must. Wear a rubberband around your wrist and snap it everytime you think of calling them. Just so that everytime you feel alone you remember what being together with either of them meant.
You are doing good, don't falter now.
A
female
reader, bemused  +, writes (12 April 2008):
 Hi Hun
I think you are on the right path here. I think the reason you are thinking about wanting to conatact them again is because you are flexing your assertivness muscles and that may be new for you. If you hang in there and do not call , not calling could become your pattern and you will stop considering it after awhile. I think that when you consider calling them up you are considering the short term gain...you see if they have met someone else...see if they might still like you ect. The gain is only temporary when they do not call you back and you are hurt all the more. By not calling you sent a message that your life is full enough and you are no longer interested. It may not be the truth right now hun...but it sends a message that is good. Not calling will assist you in moving on as well. You should ask yourself why you are drawn to people who mistreat you. Perhaps consider staying single for a time and finding out what is special about you so that you will not consider again getting into an abusive situation.
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A
female
reader, tick-tick-boom +, writes (12 April 2008):
 GOOD FOR YOU!! well done!!
Don't worry about it. These urges wont be around for long your only wanting them around so you can have fun so simply find somebody else doll!
Go out and meet new people, nice boys :)
Soon youll have forgotten about those twats you went out with and youll have a guy who will treat you nice!
Good Luck and dont give in to temptation of texting them X
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