A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Now, I may know absolutely nothing about relationships, but I have been brought to one striking question. In what way, shape, or form is the point of a relationship when all I ever hear from them is arguing and yelling every single day. Over the phone, every day she is arguing and yelling with whatever guy I could careless about. But, being the other guy who must live with this girl, I am forced to listen to this nonsensical idea of a relationship.I'm sure you can hear the tone of irritability in this post as it's once again happening as I write this. I suppose the question of love comes in many forms. Some people love by affection, and other people love by arguing, yelling, and making themselves miserable. To be honest, I think the best solution to the problem is taking the phone from her, throwing it out the window, and give her the wake-up slap of a lifetime. However, as the passive brother I am, I just can't bring myself to do this. Now, many will probably say that her relationship is none of my business. However, when my sleep and work is interfered by her consistent arguing, it becomes my business. I shouldn't make fun of a family member, but in what messed up reality does being absolutely miserable become a form of love?This is no phase of a relationship, this has been going on for a long time. Years. She's got too much going on in her life to be going through this. "Oh golly, what good fun to spend my free time than spend it yelling and arguing at the boy I love ever so much."Honestly, I feel sorry for the guy with the amount of abuse she gives him over the phone, but I wouldn't know what his side is like to make such a statement. I suppose there are people who can only love through misery. Like I said, I know nothing about relationships. It's really just another excuse to ignore my desires for one. I'm sorry. This is mostly venting and ranting. I do apologize if anyone takes offense, but I hate yelling. My emotional side is hard to hit, but when I have to hear family yelling in anger or misery, it hurts me. I'm rarely ever yelled at, but and sort of yelling just hurts. I'm financially stuck in this home for the mean time, but I strive for the day to move out on my own. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 January 2015):
 I'd ask her to go to her room and yell at her BF.
You both still living at home? If so, there is ALWAYS the choice for you to move out on your own. You say you are financially stuck atm, and my guess is.... SO is she? My guess SHE is as frustrated with her live and living situation as you are with yours.
So what can you do? Well, I'd record her while she is screaming at whatever dude she is dating, and then ask her to listen to it (when she is NOT in a state) ASK her to consider that SHE is NOT the only person under the roof, and that you DOT NOT really want to hear her relationship squabbles.
So many people are SO darn selfish with absolutely NO consideration for those around them, like the people who will ask the cashier at store to "hang on a moment" because the customer is on the phone and can't swipe his/her card will blabbing about her genital warts or whatever, and the cashier and other people in line are STUCK having to listen to this...
You sister might not change, but there is a chance you can get through to her by holding up the "mirror" with her recorded yelling. JUST make you you delete it afterwards so she KNOWS you didn't do it to keep it as ammo for later fights.
You have to remember that you CAN'T control others and what they do, say or feel. ONLY yourself. That doesn't mean you can't talk to your sister. Just not sure anything will sink it.
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