A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been in my current relationship for 6 years, living together for 3 of those. We have had a turbulent relationship to say the least, it has been a 'can't live with or without you' type. We decided last xmas to split, however, we have been renovating our property and living together as lodges for this very long 12 months. The relationship follows the same pattern, during discussion, I have found that he constantly contradicts me, at first I thought it was that he was opionionated, but now I know this is not the case. It then leads into a heated discussion, he winds me up into a frenzy, I lose my temper and bang..so, for many years I thought it was my fault, but after councelling, I have realised the pattern of event. Now things are really difficult, I think that he has always tried to control me, not by not letting me out etc. but when I do, doesn't talk to me. He always stopped the affection when I did something independant. The other thing I have not ever understood, has been he never calls me by my name?? Any ideas on that one? Maybe I am as mad, weird, pysco as he says. During rows now, he has said that he has a folder on me? and that he cant wait to do something about it, he blackmails me because I say a psycotherapist and says he will tell my boss. So, after all of that (there is tons more) how can I stop him blackmailing me, I am becoming scarred?? Many thanks, hope you can help me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2007): Hi Sweetheart,A friend of mine was in a very similar situation to yours living in the same house with her ex-partner while they waited for it to sell.The psychological abuse got to the point where she had to leave the house and stay with friends. It was extremely hard for her to make that move, but she did and now, 18 months later, she is happy, independant and enjoying her life.I would pack a bag and get out asap and go and stay with friends. Poor you, this guy sounds horrendous.Lots of luck and wishing you all the best x
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (23 December 2007):
 he's doing so, because he feels as if he has the power over you to do something. i'd ask him, if he really can't wait to do something about it, what's taking him so long. offer him a ride to do it.
you need to get away from him. i would seek a domestic protection order. if it's your boss he's planning the blackmail with, let your boss know what he's up too. i think you should check with a solicitor there as well. our laws follow very close to yours and here blackmail is an illegal act, I'm fairly sure they have laws against it there as well.
His controlling behaviors is also a reason to get far away from this person. No one is anyone else's property, and shouldn't be treated as such. If I had someone with a folder they couldn't wait to expose, I'd offer them a ride to do it and ask them if they need a bottle and a fresh diaper before leaving. This person you are with sounds extremely immature, and if this continues his behavior toward you will begin to escalate as his need to control grows.
Take care.
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