A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How do I get over hating women?This is affecting how I see every girl and women today!My mother divorced my father when I was 5 Years old.She did everything in her power to stop me visiting my father.She made me lie in court that my father abused me, and convinced me that he was a terrible man.My mother was selfish. All through my early life, she neglected us and focused on her new boyfriend.My brother, sister and I were attention starved and this hurt us.She kept trying to convince us that our father hated us.She used to travel to nice places with her boyfriend, and leave us kids at home by ourselves.Her new boyfriend favoured my younger sister, and was open about it,He bought her gifts, and ended up taking her and my mother to nice places.Both my mother and her boyfriend spoil her, and they leave me and my brother out of family trips and such.When I was young, I hated girls.I saw girls as always spoilt and better treated than us guys, and I didn’t understand why.My mother and sister had better treatment that me and my brother.Because my mother was single, I only saw women who were in the same situation as my mother. Single and bitching mothers neglecting their children.Now that I am older, I can see why my father disliked my mother.She was demanding and spoilt, just like my sister.She expects to be considered a woman, yet acts like a child.My father could not stand my mother, and ended up leaving.My mother’s new boyfriend has also considered leaving numerous times.It is hard for me now, because every female see is the spoilt mother or daughter I saw in my childhood.I am too distracted by this to even seek a girlfriend, and I find more comfort within male friends than female.Because I am so close to male friends, I am starting to suspect that I might be gay.I am attracted to guys more than females, and cannot see myself close to a girl.However, I now am questioning my sexuality.Am I gay because I hate females (psychology)? Or am I gay because of simple genetics?I keep trying to find reasons why I feel gay, and each time it comes down to simply psychology. I am convinced that there is something wrong with me that makes me gay, and so I wont go looking for a boyfriend in case I could change back.What should I do?I don’t think I will ever be comfortable with a boyfriend or girlfriend, because I always convince myself that there is something wrong with me.
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female
reader, Farris  +, writes (15 May 2007):
 First of all. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are simply someone who has been through a hell of a lot of crap.
I hope that you know that whatever your sexual preference, no matter what some people might say, there is nothing wrong with being gay or straight or even bi.
I'm not a psychologist, but it's very likely that your attraction to men is clearly a preference to them over females.
You have a lot of unresolved issues from your childhood, and I think it would be a good idea to seek counselling or to speak with a therapist, who is far more qualified than I to help you through this.
Just try to remember that no matter what happens, just because the start of your life wasn't the happiest times, doesn't mean that you should let this one particular person ruin the rest of it. And you should seek to not let her ruin your view of the whole female population. Not all women are spoilt and selfish.
I wish you all the best.
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