A
male
age
41-50,
*ruce lee
writes:Hi everyone. I have a unique problem and I want to do something about it, but it's not easy. I manage to find fault in people all the time. Not a day goes by where I don't think about something someone did that has upset me. Just a few minutes ago, I had an argument with my mum because I believe she talks too much. Every day, I walk a lap of the lake and get down and depressed about things. I think it all stems from my nit-picking attitude. My psychologist says I have a narcissistic personality disorder. That means I only think about myself and I think I'm special.Can someone help me with some advice?How can I stop finding fault in people?
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male
reader, bruce lee +, writes (23 May 2010):
bruce lee is verified as being by the original poster of the question I had a look at that particular book today and it seemed a bit boring and not worth the money. It was almost $25. Sorry, but I'm not going to buy it. Bla bla blaI might keep looking for it at the local libraries.But I admit that I do have a problem, and I don't know what to do about it. I live by myself because I can't tolerate other people's faults. My parents really piss me off.I had another bad day today.I've recently finished writing a book. It's about a Martial Arts instructor who gets blamed for a crime he didn't commit. You can all have a copy for free if you come to Australia and knock on my front door. But I guess you can't because I'm not going to give out my name on the internet. Oh well. What can you do?Thanks for your answers though.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (22 May 2010):
 You REALLY must read that book I recommended in another post.
Interrupt your thought process. So the next time you find fault with someone, stop, think of 3 positive things about them. For each negative thought, consciously come up with three positive thoughts.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (22 May 2010):
 No one is perfect and we all have our faults.We should not judge others but to accept them as they are,faults, warts and all.
Have a humble attitude and respect others if you want others to respect you .
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2010): Accept the fact that no one is perfect. Accept the fact that people will think differently than you. People have flaws. Some, more than others. But that is what makes us human. If your mum talks to much, then limit your contact with her.
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A
female
reader, laetitia  +, writes (22 May 2010):
 You need to realize and accept that nobody is perfect. You are not perfect either. Everyone has their faults and yes you will see other ppl's faults, but do you think they don't see yours? They probably do, but are tolerant towards you.
When you see other ppl's faults, do not ultimately get angry, but try to understand why the other person acts this way...maybe it's the way they grew up, maybe it's not their fault that they ARE at fault!
Blaming and criticizing is not the right solution to a problem. That means that the person at fault will not change if you blame and criticize them. Understanding and helping is the way to solve a problem.
So next time you find fault in other ppl, ask your self "am I perfect? Did I do anything to help the situation or AM I only making things worse by finding fault in others?
"You must be the change you want to see in the world." - Gandhi
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