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How can I stop dwelling on the past?

Tagged as: Family, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 October 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 26 October 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi have been with my boyfriend 4 years we have a son who is one the first 2 years of our relationship was rocky he would go out and never come home he would text his ex girlfriend behind my back he would tell me he love me one minute and the next tell me he wanted nothing more to do with me. I Loved him deeply so i stuck around ended up getting pregnant and then when the baby was born he started to settle down the thing is now i cant stop thinking about the past and i love him but i hate him aswell i just cant forget i know deep down he has cheated on me alot more than once but he wont admit it and i have no proof i just dont know what to do how can i stop dwelling on the past?

View related questions: cheated on me, ex girlfriend, his ex, text

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2007):

"Trust a lifetime to build a second to destroy". If you distance yourself you will stop thinking about the past. If you remain close you will continue to think about it.

This man has persistently treated you with no respect, you have been used as a doormat, and it started the very first time you accepted his behaviour.

If this as changed you have to try and forgive, but can you ever forget?

Youre very young and have chance to start afresh, with a new person and a blank sheet, build trust and have a no tolerance attitude towards bad behaviour.

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A male reader, agonyunclechris United Kingdom +, writes (24 October 2007):

agonyunclechris agony auntheya hun x

erm you need to stop dwelling in the past for your relationships sake

do you want him to leave ? because if you keep dwelling he will get frustrated and it will strain your relationship

also if you live in the past the present will pass you by hun

so start living in the present and it will be easier to forgive the past , you wont ever forget it , but you may come to terms with it

take care

¬chris¬ x

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