| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: How can I stop comparing myself to other women, especially my friends? I have a friend who is gorgeous. She is older than me but it's as if she doesn't age. She is shorter than me, and plumper, but she is lucky in that she just looks thick, not fat - her waist looks small and she has big breasts and wide, curvy hips, and a big butt. Yet her tummy looks flat. She has big green eyes, a rarity around here, and very delicate features. She also has thick hair.I am taller than her and a bit thinner (though by no means skinny), but I have small breasts. I have a small waist, but my tummy doesn't look flat, and I have wide hips, but I also have fat thighs. My face is unremarkable, I have brown eyes (which are too common around here) and my features are not as delicate. I have thin hair (it's genetic, I was born like this, so I can't fix it) which, even though it's soft and shiny and long, I feel just makes me look sickly because sometimes you can see my scalp show through, and it's also so fine that I feel it looks sickly no matter how good care I take of it.I feel so invisible around here because she has a nice body and she shows it. She always wears cleavage, for instance, and guys are all over her. I don't get nearly as much attention and it gets me down, which is worse because then I get all introverted. When a guy shows interest, I'm sure it's because my friend has turned him down, and it usually is. She's also smart and more talented. I love her but I feel so insignificant compared to her.And that's the thing... how can I stop comparing myself to her? And to other women? I'm just so plain and uninteresting that, well... everyone is better than me. So it's driving me crazy. Help please.
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female
reader, Cloud_comp  +, writes (30 November 2011):
I am first to promote self-love, but we live in a world where you can nearly change everything with some sort of artifice.Don't like your hair? Get a wig or a ponytail add on. Voilia instant perfect hair in any color you like! Clip on ponytails or hair add ons can make your thin hair seem thick (www.beautytrends.com.)Worried about your thighs? Get a pair of Spanx shorts. Try a Rago girl or Rago girdle shorts. After that, you don't WANT those crappy guys that most definately wanting to use your sexy friend as their person sexual repository. They don't see HER. They see a pair of boobs and something they can get their rocks off in.She will live the rest of her life on her looks UNTIL those looks fade and suddenly no one will care, no one will give her exceptions, and men won't even bother.You on the other hand are building character. You learning ways to be interesting and cool, a good mother maybe? A great cyclist? An intelligent teacher? You will meet interesting men who have Ph'd's and know how to restore an entire 64 Karman Ghia. She will meet guys who are douche bags and might someday become a baby maker and wife to a the son of the owner of a car dealership.You are at your MOST beautiful right now. Soon as you turn 27 your body starts to decline into old age at a startling rate. So enjoy your body. Flaunt it! Run around in a bathing suit! Wear the right undergarments and you can do anything! It's not getting any better.
A
female
reader, synchrohobbit +, writes (29 November 2011):
 First of all, you can't. We will always compare ourselves to each other. It's perfectly normal, and simply an instinct to compete for mates. However, I highly doubt that you are plain and uninteresting, and suspect you are just slightly lacking in the self esteem or confidence departments. A good start would be starting to find clothes that really play to your features...tight dresses, frilly tops, anything that makes you look at yourself twice in the mirror. What you may not realize is that she might be envious of you as well! I am not sure where you are from, but curvy women are often jealous of their thinner counterparts. We all want what we don't have, and we all think we can look better. Don't assume guys only show interest in your because they have been turned away by someone else...a lot of the time men will approach someone other than their true interest first as a confidence builder. Good luck!
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