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male
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anonymous
writes: Hello EveryoneI am in a good relationship (gay) my partner gives me no reason not to trust him and its the same for him with me.However i do trust him but at the same time when he goes out without me for a night out i cant help but get paranoid wondering what he is up too.I dont know why i get like this there is no reason for me to feel this way.I dont ever question him because there is no need to because he wouldnt cheat on me.How do i get over this paranoid feeling?Is it normal cause i love him so much? please help :) Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2014): Omg I know how you all feel. I have been with my fiance for 15 months now and we got a house together 9 months ago and we spend a lot of time together and do things together but the minute he goes out without me (not including when he's at work) I get paranoid, wonder what he's doing and can't stop thinking where he could have gone or what he could be doing, then i feel like he doesn't like being around me and is avoiding me lol. I do trust him I know he loves me and thinks I'm an amazing and beautiful but I can't stop being paranoid, he feels like he wears a chain around his ankle and I need to let him loose now and again.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2007): My future husband has a friend whcih ic constantly trying to indirectly sabatoge our relationship.He is jealous because my partner has a successful life and relationship and he spend sall his time getting drunk.Two weeks ago my partner wanted to go out with him and promised me that he was only going to a pub diner. He then texted me later saying for me not to worry that he wont go out to town that he is too grown up.But i caught his bluff the same night and almost called of the engadgment.He went home straightaway and tried telling me it was a white lie because he knew i would worry for no reason.But I made him choose between me and his so called friend( which was pusading to ignore my calls and stay out with him) the only time we have ever fallen out is when he is with him.He has now promised me to stop seeing him but I cant trust him anymore.I still love him but am constantly paranoid that he is lying to me what can I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2006): oh my god i actually feel totally the same way becauase i know when my boyfriend goes out without me i think hes cheating and then when he doesnt anser the phone i think hes with some other girl i cant help being paranoid but in the end it will drive them away right ? or when he sends texts of other mates phones is it a girl hes just slept with ! ? please help me over come my paranoia
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for all your advice.It has got me thinking that it isnt my partner who i dont trust its some of his friends.We do go out together when we can but sometimes my work clashes on weekends when i have to work nights.He always asks me if im happy if he goes out which i am.And my mind does work overtime thinking how is his friends around him.I like his friends but i find a couple of them a bit iffy and i dont think i could ever trust them especially after a few drinks.THANKYOU once again for taking the time to offer me advice.
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reader, smeedle  +, writes (1 June 2006):
 Yep it is very normal, and there are not that many people if they are honest that do not have some feelings of insecurity when there partners are away from them, especially if they are away with mates.
Only time and increasing levels of trust will make this get better.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2006): Hi,sometimes when we love someone so much, because we are so blissfully happy in the relationship, our worst fear is the thought of losing that person. Maybe someone has broken your trust in the past, a close friend,former partner or member of the family etc.You say that your boyfriend has given you no reason for you to think that he is cheating,therefore he is not.Maybe when he goes out in future, make your own fun to take your mind off him.Whether its pursuing a hobby, visiting friends or family.A relationship can only survive on trust, and he has given you no reason to mistrust him.Best of luck x
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reader, ask paige +, writes (1 June 2006):
 well nearly all men and women think in some part of there relationship what are they acctually getting up 2 and its compleatly normal so i woud suggest you mabey go out with him more and then you will be able 2 see that he is just having a good time and nothing else and remeber he comes home 2 u and it sounds like you have nothing 2 be suspicious about so i hope you will be able 2 see that he is just out enjoying his night and then you will then be able 2 not think about what hes doin and relax
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reader, camille +, writes (1 June 2006):
 p.s Do you go out too? If not, maybe that would help, but not if it's a tit for tat game to make him jealous ;)
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reader, camille +, writes (1 June 2006):
I have a saying and wish it held some conviction... I trust him, it's everyone else i don't! I have seen people hit on my boyfriend and i too trust him (and he, me) but in our society it's easy to see why we can get so paranoid. I can't help you to stop having the thoughts but perhaps remind yourself that jealousy or insecurity can cause the very thing you feared to happen, when it probably never would have! Look in the mirror and tell yourself how great you are and how lucky your boyfriend is. Then tell him how lucky YOU are! I hope this doesn't affect your relationship cos it sounds as if everything is just fine!
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