A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend are perfect together. However I am quite insecure due to being lied to and cheated on in the past, my past 2 ex-boyfriends chosing to be with someone else over me. I have nothing to complain about with my current boyfriend (we've been together almost 4 months now) but I'm starting to think about things for no reason, i wish i wasnt so insecure :(He is a very sociable person, throughout this summer he has many plans to go to festivals and nights out for many peoples birthdays etc (I'm not going with him/ it's birthdays of friends that I dont know) and although i trust him 100% not to cheat on me and KNOW that he wouldnt, i'm terrified that he's going to meet someone else who he likes at one of these events and will end up choosing to be with them over me :( even though I'm going to different festivals with my own friends and know this would never happen the other way round!! I have absolutely no reason to feel like this and he has no idea that I do ;/ how can I stop being so insecure?
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female
reader, Hopeful Romantic  +, writes (4 May 2012):
 I have been in your shoes before... cheated on by many and insecure in a new relationship... honestly, I don't think you'll get out of being insecure until you have been together long enough to realize you do truly trust him.
And even 4 years later, you may still have a moment of freak out, where you see a girl get too close to him or something and you think, OH WHAT IF...
Try to act like it doesn't bother you,
unless it get out of hand of course...
but seriously, since you have been hurt, it will be hard to get over past hurts. You just have to try your best not to tell your new guy about these thoughts. He will think you're crazy and it is a turn off.
Just try to trust him & the longer you're together and he doesn't cheat, the more that will prove to you that you can trust him and you'll realize you're not so insecure after all.
You just have to grow your hard outer shell... the shell that shows the world how beautiful and confident you are so that when your boyfriend looks at you, he'll be proud and the thought of cheating will never cross his mind.
There's that old saying: Time heals all wounds...
time and a non-cheating new boyfriend will heal your insecureness. :)
But please, please, please, never accuse him of cheating when you're not sure - because if he's not, he eventually will just because you already think he is... learned this from experience through a friends marriage.
A
female
reader, Hopeful Romantic +, writes (4 May 2012):
I have been in your shoes before... cheated on by many and insecure in a new relationship... honestly, I don't think you'll get out of being insecure until you have been together long enough to realize you do truly trust him.
And even 4 years later, you may still have a moment of freak out, where you see a girl get too close to him or something and you think, OH WHAT IF...
Try to act like it doesn't bother you,
unless it get out of hand of course...
but seriously, since you have been hurt, it will be hard to get over past hurts. You just have to try your best not to tell your new guy about these thoughts. He will think you're crazy and it is a turn off.
Just try to trust him & the longer you're together and he doesn't cheat, the more that will prove to you that you can trust him and you'll realize you're not so insecure after all.
You just have to grow your hard outer shell... the shell that shows the world how beautiful and confident you are so that when your boyfriend looks at you, he'll be proud and the thought of cheating will never cross his mind.
...............................
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