A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, I'm 27 and have been single for around 5 months now. My problem is though that if a girl catches my eye in a club or pub etc. I have a total lack of confidence to approach her and I go clueless as to what to say to break the ice.Say for example even if I walk past a girl who catches my eye in a shop, I will look up and smile at her and she might smile back, but if I happen to walk past her for a second time I go all shy and tend to keep my head down.I have had long term relationships in the past, but these were set up by friends with girls who already knew of me and liked me in the first place.Does anyone have any advice on how I can stop being so coy and how to gain a bit of confidence?Thanx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2007): "Actions speak louder than words."
In this case, you need to feel as if you're a man, and as long as you feel insecure, you're not going to take the necessary steps to act like the inner horn dog you know resides deep down inside you.
So, either make up a story about how you're waiting for your condo renovations to be finished and your BMW/Mercedes/sports car is in the shop, and go ask the pretty lady to dance, or go out and get a job that pays enough so you can afford all the trappings that'll make up for your insecurities.
Or just learn how to dance well enough that the ladies will forgive you for all your shortcomings.
That's like three options their buddy. Pick the one that you like and run with it, although i don't really recommend the first two.
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (1 May 2007):
 You need to feel more positive about yourself. Write down all the things you like about yourself, your good points, what part of your body do you like best, parts of your personality you like too. Then sit and write down what positive things you have to offer the right person. Don't be self conscious about yourself, be proud of who you are and never put yourself down, walk with your head held high, just smile as you pass someone you like and say "Hi!" Women love a confident and assertive man, even if inside you don't feel as confident, it doesn't mean other people can tell, THEY CAN'T!!!
Here are some great tips for boosting your self confidence. Read them carefully then try them out!
http://www.more-selfesteem.com/self_confidence_tips.htm
http://pickbrains.com/how-do-i-build-up-my-confidence
http://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence
Learn to love yourself and be happy with who you are, only when you can do that can you ever truly love someone else.
Eve
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