A
female
age
41-50,
*sland Vibe
writes:I'm 16 and i'm having a bit of trouble.Well my best friend(lets call her A) was diagnosed with a brain tumor a few months ago and this news hit me really badly, i stopped eating started failing in some of my subjects at school etc. And i have needed a friend to help me out in this time of need, so i turned to my friend(lets call her J), who for the first few days helped me through the pain of shock and then probably a week after i heard this news i split up with my boyfriend and he moved down south which took my by suprise and adding to my upset. But what upset me the most was that my friend J didn't help or ask me if i was alright, once.all she was bothered about was her boyfriend, so i was left on my own having to deal with these problems.I need to ask how can i help my best friend through this brain tumor however i know she will die as it is inopperable. again adding more to my upset! and how can i stay strong in this unfourtunate time of sadness?please help x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): I exactly know how you feel. One of my closest friends was diagnosed with cancer in her stomach. She is just so young too, just 18 years old. I was attending another school when they told me the news, which made me even more sad since I couldn't be close to her. Her cancer is also terminal. The way I have been dealing with this is being with her as most as I can. I try to go visit her to the hospital, and when she was released (by her parents suggestion), I called her constantly. Whenever I visited her I tried to make her laugh. Me and my friends told jokes with each other and would try to remember stuff we did in the past that was silly or weird. We all try to make her as happy as she can before she leaves. I'm scared of losing her, I'm sad I'm losing her.
Just be there for your friend and make her have happy memories.
A
male
reader, grouchy  +, writes (1 July 2008):
You've got a real problem here. "J" doesn't want to deal with "A's" upcoming death. Most of us don't really know how to deal with death. It's so damned final. I think if you turn your thoughts more to "A" rather than to your thoughts about your reaction to "A"'s tumor you may find you are coming out of your darkness. "A" really needs your friendship now & all the way through to the end. I've lost several friends to wilderness accidents and it always hurts. Be prepared for pain in your life over this issue. Learn all you can about this type of tumor - check out library books, check online, talk to your Dr. And help "A" to celebrate living and to laugh.
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