| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: How do you catch HIV/AIDS? I kissed my boyfriend (who's just been dignosed with HIV) a couple of days back. Have i got the STD? Please reply, i'm really worried. Also i'm thinking of having sex with him. What would be the best contraception to use to make sure that i don't catch HIV?
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female
reader, broken baby  +, writes (16 August 2007):
oy... condoms work!!! they do you just have to be smart and get a good brand and put it on right dont lie in bed naked afterwords after he takes it off and also does he love you enough that if you caught it he would stay with you?
A
female
reader, juleses +, writes (15 August 2007):
Incidentally, I would also highly recommend getting counseling with your boyfriend--preferably from an HIV counselor. That should help dispel any myths hovering around in your mind and help you make your decision better.
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A
female
reader, juleses +, writes (15 August 2007):
As many people have mentioned, you can't have gotten HIV from your boyfriend from kissing, unless you both had sores on your mouth; saliva doesn't have enough HIV to pass the virus. If it will make you more comfortable, you can go ahead and get an HIV test, anyway--just remember that it takes about 3-6 months for the tests to be able to catch HIV. I would suggest going to a clinic with your boyfriend, and you should both get tested for other STD tests, too--I would suggest chlamydia, syphillis, gonorrhea, trichomoniasis, herpes and HPV (boyfriend can't get tested for HPV). This will give you some common ground to start from--you'll both know where you started.If you really care about your boyfriend, you can certainly have quite safe sex with him--condoms are 97% effective against HIV transmission when used correctly (use them EXACTLY as the directions say, and for the love of all that's holy, please don't open the package with your teeth or scissors!). Do what feels right to you--the good thing about your boyfriend is that you know his baggage--and it's fantastic that he trusts you enough to have told you about his status. That's really challenging. But you should only have sex with him if you're comfortable with the risk--it's not a huge risk, but it is a risk. And educate yourself--www.thebody.com is a great resource for information about HIV, as is www.poz.com. Either of these may help you make that decision--because it's really all about what you're comfortable doing. And honestly, I would suggest talking to an HIV doctor at an STD clinic before I would recommend talking to your primary doctor. A lot of doctors are woefully ignorant about HIV care in this country--talk to your boyfriend's doctor or go to an HIV/STD clinic and find someone there.I hope this is helpful!
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A
female
reader, ladybug  +, writes (22 July 2007):
 You can only acquire STD's either through blood or sexual contact, so you don't have to worry about the kissing stuff, as of your condition, the best way not to acquire HIV is not to have sex with your boyfriend, that would be the best solution! Don't trust condoms there's no hundred percent guarantees about it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2007): You are at risk from kissing as HIV is passed along in body fluids; saliva is a body fluid. I'd say use a condom and spermicide just to be on the safe side, though your doctor will be able to advise you better than any of us.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2007): You can still catch it even if you wear a condom. You can't get it if you just kiss him. I would STRONGLY suggest you to not have sex with him, condoms won't help, you could still catch it.
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A
male
reader, rk06 +, writes (18 July 2007):
 This is a difficult situation. In this case, maybe you should wait until you know you will end up with him... just in case you contract HIV. This way you know that you will always have each other.Good luck
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (18 July 2007):
 Hi there Anonymous,
The best contraception I can think of to use so you don't catch HIV / AIDS (or any std's) is condoms. But check with your doctor, like many of the other aunts recommended. S/he would be able to tell you better than most anyone here. You don't want to mess around and ask unqualified people about something as serious as this, you know? Be safe. Go with what a professional tells you. They are always keeping up to date with modern science through seminars, classes, etc and can share the newest information with their patients.
I'm glad to see that you're not running the other direction like so many other people would do. Just because someone has a fatal disease does not make them any less than a person or any less of deserving love and affection. This is the time when your guy will probably need you most. Hearing the news he has contracted HIV must have devastated him. You seem like a nice and caring person - the perfect partner for him.
There are many couples out there who can lead mostly normal lives if one partner has HIV. Of course there are going to be adjustments. Maybe after talking with your doctor about the sexual aspect of things, you could inquire about other areas, too. Maybe look online and do some research - find out how other couples have lived with HIV and AIDS in their lives.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, love-him  +, writes (18 July 2007):
 Hey bbe,
Well first off, just to make sure and get rid of your worries, see your doctor and then maybe a gynacologist.. For contracception, use condoms... always..
I hope i helped =)
Mail me if u would like to talk x
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A
female
reader, jtaunton5410 +, writes (18 July 2007):
 Okay It depends on what STD he has, for instance if he has herpes on his mouth from going down on a girl who had it he could have it on his mouth, and then you kissed him. But you said that he has HIV, I only know that you can catch that by unprotected sex. So you two definetly want to wear a condom. Maybe the two of you should go to a clinic or doctor and find out what the best methods would be for thetwo of you and the rinks that you could be facing. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2007): Are you sure you want to risk cathcing a deadly disease just to have sex with someone? Also, are you sure you want to get close to someone who may die in the near future? You need to be careful, you're so young & if you catch HIV you're jeopardising your entire future. You won't be able to have kids, or if you do they will be born with HIV. It isnt your fault he has HIV, so you shouldn't be with him b/c you feel sorry for him or something. I don't know if that is the case, but in my opinion, he should be with someone else who has the disease & not you. You will catch it if you're not 100% careful & from your question you seem to know nothing about HIV or how you can catch it. Do you realize that HIV can never be cured, and that it can turn into full blown aids & you have a pretty good chance of being sick all the time & dying young? You need to educate yourself because you're being ignorant right now.
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A
female
reader, Beckto +, writes (18 July 2007):
 Go to your doctor, as eyeswideopen said. Or, go with your boyfriend to his doc's appointment, if you can.
It's a *very* big risk to undertake, and you need to be FULLY informed before you do anything.
As far as kissing goes, unless your boyfriend was bleeding in his mouth when you kissed him, you can't get HIV. The virus can't be passed via saliva (spit) -- only, only, only via blood or by having sex.
Get informed.
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A
female
reader, THONGPRINCESS24 +, writes (18 July 2007):
 you can not catch hiv/aids just from a kiss unless one of you has an open cut/sore in the mouth. the only way to sleep with your boyfriend without catching hiv/aids is to use a condom but be sure it does not slip off or get ripped at all. hope this helps!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (18 July 2007):
 Talk to your doctor, he/she can give you the most accurate information.
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