A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just started a new job a week ago, and I've run into a problem. Let me first say my job is very fast paced, and requires a good amount of physical strength. This normally isn't a problem for me at all. I've worked a job like this before, and didn't have a problem. Unfortunately, I couldn't stay there for other personal reasons. The issue with my new job is I find myself very attracted to my boss. I mean so attracted I can't even look him in the eye because I'm afraid he'll know how I feel. It's highly inappropriate for me to feel this way, because I'm married and he has a girlfriend that works there in a different department. I can't figure out why I like him. He's grouchy, and has a really bad temper. He yells at people in a very condescending way. He hasn't yelled at me yet, but I figure it's only a matter of time. He's also a smoker, and I normally find smokers to be unappealing. He's short and kind of thin in build, but very strong. When I watched him work on my first day, I couldn't believe how fast he moved. He put me to shame. I'm so worried I'm not going to be able to do my job properly because I know he's watching each and every one of us, and it makes me nervous. I find when I'm attracted to someone it affects my physical strength, but if I do my job poorly, that's probably just going to make him yell at me. I don't want that. I want him to think of me as a competent great employee. Not just because I'm attracted to him, but because he's my boss and I have to care what he thinks. This is a bad situation, because every time he's near, I tense up and refuse to look at him. And I feel drained. It's like he just sucks all my strength right out of me. I feel like I'm 16 years old again with a "school girl" crush. I feel pathetic and guilty. My husband is a once in a lifetime type man. He's extremely kind and compassionate, the complete opposite of this man. What do I do? I'm 24 years old, too old to still think "bad boys" are attractive. My boss is 30, so definitely old enough that he should have learned how to control his temper by now. I want to succeed at this job so badly, but I feel the only way I can is if I can somehow block out my attraction for him. I hate being human sometimes. I know attraction happens whether you're with someone or not, but I don't like it! Please someone tell me how can I get around this? How can I shut him out while I'm working so he doesn't distract me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Dodds  +, writes (13 August 2013):
 What can anyone honestly say to change the way you feel!!??
Attraction isn't a choice... Women tend to feel attraction to more dominant men.
Your husband is nice=boring as you feel no challenge but your boss fascinates you!!
Honey it's time to make a choice. Either quit your job in favour of your marriage or not!! Both decisions will have a strong impact on how successful your marriage as at now will be.
Good luck!!
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