A
female
age
36-40,
*ibby
writes:i am 20yrs and a virgin, i have a boyfriend of 26yrs also a virgin as he told me and is currently working. i love him soo much as he is my first boyfriend. but the fact that we both have not sexed makes him feel i dont love him. i am scared of sexing cos of this disease in town(HIV)and scared i will be dumped after sex with him cos that is common among boys... ave explained to him and he tell me am wicked that i dont love him the way he loves me.... and i feel love should not be based on sex....pls tell me how to show him love without having sex cos i dont want to loose him. thanksss Reply to this Question
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female
reader, f n s guru  +, writes (17 January 2009):
why dont you first confront him about your fear of HIV, afterall he is your boyfriend and you should be able to be open with eachother.
Thenn as far as the sex is concerned play it by ear from there.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): If he is pressuring you like the below had said, just leave him. Anytime a guy does that, it means trouble. If you're not ready, don't let ANYONE and I mean, ANYONE influence you otherwise or it's going to cost your life!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): Tell him your concern and get him to do a test - and if he's pressuring you this way then I suggest you don't stick around anyways.
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A
male
reader, 2old4this  +, writes (17 January 2009):
 You have to tell him you love him with all your heart but you are not ready, and if he pressures you like he does then he must not love you at all. But if he does really love you he will wait until you are ready. If he asks when that will be, tell him it will be when you feel right about it. In the mean time, there are other things you can do that should make him feel good if you know what I mean. But you dont have to do that either if it doesnt feel right.
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A
female
reader, elizawarder +, writes (17 January 2009):
if he is making you feel guilty for not having sex with him, you shouldnt feel you need to just to satisfy him. if he loves you, he will wait.
On the other hand, dont be afraid of contacting HIV. if you use proper protection, condoms are the only type to prevent STIs, you should be fine. but obviously not till your ready! talk to him about it, tell him that you love him but your not ready to have sex yet
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