A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My apologies as this will be very long but I appreciate you reading and giving me advice.Hello. My name is Dan and I need experienced advise. I am 23 and I have been single for 18 months now. The only relation I had was with one girl for 4 years who I wanted to marry but she dumped me for another guy when I moved to USA from Pakistan. After that I waited some time as I am a caring and honest guy and I knew the fact that any girl who would be girlfriend at that time will be a rebound and I won't be in true love with her and I would hurt her. So wrong to think like that because this is my biggest mistake that I am so honest and considerate for females and people in general. However after an adequate wait of almost 6 months, I started looking. I kept getting bluntly rejected by multiple girls, was called names like freak and creep, only because of the fact that I was very shy and honest, and I expressed my interest in going out with them. I never did or say anything respectful at all. All I did was trying to take them for a coffee or lunch in a public place but I was given these hurtful comments. It happened with 3 different girls at different times. All I did was saying hi and greeting them multiple times on different occasions and then asked them out to go with me and the next thing I heard from people was that I was called creepy and a freak. Now to sum up the info, these girls were my co-workers when I used to work at retail store Target and the people who told me about these remarks were my friends at work. These girls all worked at different times and I was intelligent enough to ask them out after waiting enough from each rejection so I don't get get the reputation of a guy who is asking out every girl he sees. However after all these events, I was even more heart broken after the misery my ex put me through by dumping me for someone else.I tried using online dating (match.com) and paid for the full service that includes phone calls and email exchanges. I gave it my full positive energy and emailed all the matches it brought to me. Out of the 23 girls, I emailed, only one replied and gave me her number. We started chatting on the cell phone but she never let me call her to hear her voice so that I could find out whether she was a real girl or a scam (probably a guy) ripping me off. She also disappeared and never came back.Recently one of the girls apart from all these I have mentioned is an old friend of my sister. She is 25 and I am 23. She is someone who has been in contact with me since the day I came to USA. When my ex dumped me she knew it. She became a good friend and after some time, I told her that I want her to be my girl friend. This is about a year ago. She bluntly rejected me. And I parted my ways. She came back after a month and said she wanted to be with me so I asked her out again. She again rejected and disappeared and I parted my ways heartbroken again. 3rd time she came back and said she wants us to be friends only but I was heart broken enough and I told her that I am looking for a girl who cares for me and love me with all her heart. I told her that I have enough friends. She kept silent on the issue and said that she needs to think about it. After that she started dropping serious hints of attraction. Started calling me romantic names and late night romantic cell phone messaging. Last month, the 4th time, when I brought flowers on her birthday while she was on her work, she rejected them on my face and said take them back as she has no place to put them. That was the moment, my heart went on fire and I decided I am going to take revenge from this world now. Yesterday she went to lunch with me and told me that she wants to be my girlfriend now. All I want now is revenge. I do not believe in the virtues of honesty, sincerity, having a simple and clean heart, love, care, respect and karma. All I see around me is girls crying buckets of tears for sexy and hot jerks who use them and move on and people like me suffering pain after pain after pain and blunt rejections after blunt rejections. I always thought it was a girl's dream to have an honest one woman man but what I fool I was all my life. Is there someone here who can tell me how I can seek revenge? I want to have sex with her, use her and then leave her forever. Or someone at least guide me if I am on the wrong path after what has been done to me by so many women?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (13 August 2012):
Holding anger and revenge in your heart leaves no room for love.
If you date this girl only to manipulate her into having sex with you so you can dump her and get revenge, then you truely become a 'creep.'
You need to see a counselor. Someone who specializes in relationships. This counselor can help you assess what qualities in yourself that women are interpreting as 'creepy' and he/she can help you develop an outwardly positive persona that accurately reflects who you are. Once you are able to do this, you will be able to find a sensitive woman who is interested in you.
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