A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I had been with a guy for a few months, friends before that for a long time. When we were friends he was seeing someone else and during their break up he came to me to vent and talk over. We became close.We fell out and had not been speaking. I was heartbroken and in a moment of stupidity followed his ex on Twitter. He doesn't follow either of us so I don't know how he found out, but anyway he went ballistic at me on FB and said its goodbye. He said it was truly unbelievable that I would try to contact the one person he was trying to move on from.Now I know there is no chance of reconciliation but I want to tell him how sorry I am in a meaningful way. It was a deceitful thing for me to do I know that now, very foolish.Any ideas what I should say? I'm not very good with words.
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (30 May 2014):
 I can understand his displeasure at finding out you'd been following his ex on Twitter. To him it was sneaky, disloyal and weird. However I think going 'ballistic' was a bit over the top.
I would not apologize. He's far too angry right now for it to penetrate and it would just seem like a desperate attempt to win him back.
Just leave it alone. You may cross paths again one day when he's over it, and even then I would not volunteer an apology.
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (29 May 2014):
 His Ex probably told him you were cyber stalking her, I would find it weird an ex's new 'friend' suddenly decided to follow me on Twitter. It probably caused a row and maybe she assumed he had told you to do it? He must feel humiliated.
As for going ballistic on Facebook at you, why didn't he just ring you or see you face to face?
Don't apologise, you can't make this situation better or save face, you did what you did and paid for it highly.
Leave them to it now
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (29 May 2014):
 While "following" his ex on Twitter is an odd thing to do, I'm not really sure what kind of BAD thing you did that warrants you getting "dropped" as a friend.
If you weren't communicating with her I really don't see the big deal. And I certainly can't see how HE has any right to tell you whom you an "follow" of whatever social site.
Telling him you are sorry won't fix things or make him feel better. It will just fuel his self righteous attitude.
If you want to say sorry, so that YOU can stop feeling guilty you could (if you have his address) send him a short letting saying I'm sorry.
Like CMMP I'm just not sure you did anything "wrong" here.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (29 May 2014):
Other than expressing your sorrow what are you trying to accomplish? If the two of you are finished what reason do you have to do anything else other than honestly express your sorrow by telling him you're truly sorry. For what I'm not even really sure...
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A
male
reader, RevMick +, writes (29 May 2014):
 Hi,
If you are truly sorry just say sorry. It should come over how sorry you are in your tone of voice, words and emotions.
Was it foolish, yes. Did you do it intentionally to hurt him?
I think he got into a relationship too soon after his break up, especially given the level of hurt he seems to feel. I would leave him be to take time.
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