A
female
age
36-40,
*iss blondie
writes:Hey guys! Was wondering if you could help...Been going out with my boyfriend for about 4 months. Up until the last couple of weeks things have been going so well. We both agreed it's the first time we've felt proper happy and comfortable with a partner and became best friends as well as boyfriend/girlfriend.The last couple of weeks we've both been really stressed out with our personal lives/careers which has ended up affecting our relationship; both been kinda moody, both been acting distant and not our usual selves. During a period of particular stress my boyfriend didn't contact me for a few days which really worried me. This week we were out drinking and I stupidly blurted out everything that was worrying me about our relationship. My boyfriend was really tired/stressed from work and just wanted to sleep but as i was drunk i was stubborn and wouldnt let the issue lie. He's quite insecure as he thought something was going on between me and one of my friends which it wasn't. He's also been worrying I don't like him anymore.He has a high stress job and after our drunken disagreement he said he wasn't sure if we should be together anymore cos we've both been stressing out and us arguing isn't helping, he said he needed time to think and would call me that night but he didnt. Yesterday he texted to say that he thinks I'm an amzing person but feels that he can't give me the time i deserve at the moment as his job is so stressful and demanding. He really wanted to meet to chat last night but was at work which annoyed him. I'd mentioned that I could pop by after work for a chat but he said he didn't think it would be a good idea as he was worried he would get upset at work??? He's never been the weepy type? Does worrying he may get upset mean that he doesnt truly want to finish things but just thinks he has too cos of his job? He said he wants to meet me on Monday to properly talk things over as he's free all day.I replied saying I thought having a chat was a good idea and that we've both been superstressed and not had much time for eachother which just sometimes happens and that I understand that we can't always see eachother when we'd like but things can be adapted if we really want them to work. I said i believe we should have a proper heart to heart on Monday before making any final decisions and if we wanted things to work they could, it would just take time and understanding.He replied saying he totally agrees with what I've just said and that he really wants to have a proper chat about things. Do you guys reckon this can be salvaged?
View related questions:
at work, best friend, drunk, insecure, period, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, miss blondie +, writes (27 June 2009):
miss blondie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI dunno I just have a bad gut feeling, I mean part of me thinks that him agreeing with what I said and being really keen to meet up might mean he is open to resolving the issues we've had and working through things.
But I also get the vibe that he's someone who runs away from problems when things get on top of him so he may just want to meet on Monday to basically break up in person so he wouldn't be the bad guy that did it through text...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2009): yes ! you seem to know yourself very well , you sound like a funny , smart understanding young women and hes lucky he has you around. tell him everything will be ok and things will work out. it sounds as you say hes working hard and so are you in a few months things will be slower and you will have more time it wil work out .... good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (27 June 2009):
 u need to go and meet him on monday thinking positively.of course it can be salvaged if u both admit your wrongs and want to work together as a team to make it work.good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2009): Well I don't know. It has only been four months... I would be cautiously optimistic - but be prepared that it might be over. To be honest, it doesn't sound like you are having that much fun with this guy either.
From my experience, it's sometimes easy to say "oh we were so stressed" or "we've been busy - things are crazy around here" etc etc to explain the problems in the relationship, but really those problems would have been there anyway. If after only four months there is already tentative discussion (from his side) of it ending, I'm not sure it has much staying-power.
...............................
|
