A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Its not working with the bf. I am 11 wks pregnant. This was a complete accident. He is now living with me but its hell. There is no sex, we sleep in separate rooms and when there is sex its not that great. He can't stay hard or at most he will only be half hard during sex which is making me so so upset. I finally told him about it cos it bothered me so much and asked him if he had a prob there..he said no but that it simply has a mind of its own. Now the sex has stopped altogether simply cos we are not getting on with each other at all. There is no trust by either of us and I feel he is only doing the bare min with me. There is no trust cos there is no bedroom activity. When I threw him out of my flat he never makes up with me when he returns. This has happened a few times for different reasons. I told him I have never had to ask a bf for sex...and I felt annoyed he was putting me in this position...he flirts with other girls in front of me and when I finally cracked and got angry at him he denied it. I told him to get his crap and go back to the US cos its not working out - he makes me SO lonely in this pregnancy. He told me last night he loves me cos I am having his baby and not because he loves me. I don't feel desired or wanted from him at all...last night we had fight...I said my last ex was in touch with me (an ex I never want to get back with) in my frustration I happened to tell the bf when I was with him we had sex morn evening night and it was great and he had no probs with erection..you barely do it once and as far as I am concerned once a month is not enough for me..he said if my ex is so great why don't you go back and f*** your ex! so I kicked him out of my flat for having the nerve to say that. I was trying to say to him why don't we try to get it on and see if that helps your prob. He doesn't understand at all how it is to be pregnant either as he has never really gotten a woman pregnant and the one woman he did get pregnant in the past ended up miscarrying it. She was going to abort cos I reckon he must have annoyed her too. She didn't abort but ended up miscarrying. I would like this relationship to recover but I am a complete loss as to how it can now that all these unkind words have been said by both of us. Please whatever advice you can give me would be great cos he is really really upsetting me all the time and I know its not good for the baby...I hate the fact he doesn't make me feel even special just sometimes. I told him so. Its got boring. Stuck at home - never really go out as I have a young infant already who is nearly 1. I said you can't expect me to be happy with you if that is not there. He is constantly attacking and insulting me and then I end up annoyed and doing a little but not so much back. I told him am not into mudslinging and this has got to stop as its not the type of role model I want for my daughter :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks ladies. I do have a job. I do have my own place. I do have health insurance which I have put my first child on. I am a single mother to a little girl and now this unborn child. I guess I am trying to make sense of his behaviour. I worry about not having enough money to support the second child. I barely have enough money for my little girl. He is not working but quit his work in the US to be with me here. He can't find work yet and I am working all the time, so feeling drained at night-time. I don't feel he has been doing enough here in order to secure employment so starting to worry again for obvious reasons. I don't know why he is rejecting me sexually of all things and when I asked him directly about it he said he was not rejecting me but just tired. But this is not the first time he has given me this excuse...and why on earth did he tell me in his anger to f*** the ex if he loves me so much as he claims???
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2011): Exactly,if he doesnt love you or you feel that you are not important to him,dont waste your time.Live for your daughter and the unborn child.Move on,make yourself beautiful,he is not worth it.I used to be there,had a US army bf and i feel neglected,he seldom had time for me and worse,he doesnt really care what I feel.At first I was so stupid to beg for attention but then I realized,it not my lost its his lost,so I went out from my room and started going to the gym,parlor and meet guys! That's where I gained my self confidence that I am beautiful and stick to the motto,if a dump you?why cry?There are many fishes in the ocean..So cheer up,smile after you gave birth to your baby..Find a job and you will see that he the relationship is not really worth saving!!!
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A
female
reader, MamaBear  +, writes (22 March 2011):
First, if you were having unprotected sex then the pregnancy is "no accident" as you state. So, with this clear, you need to concentrate on your future and that of your unborn child. You surely are old enough to know that life is too short to put so much energy into a bad relationship. Move on in your life! There is no mention of your having a job, a decent place to live, what medical plans you have in place, ect. I believe that you need to determine if you plan to keep the child, adopt it out to a family wanting a child, or to abort. This is not easy to do. You do not mention if you have employment, but too much energy is going into this relationship. Please find it within yourself to think about yourself and your child.
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