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male
,
anonymous
writes: Hi, I could really do with some advice.I'm in a happy long term relationship , My partner is older than me and has a strong personality . We have the odd disagreements about things but nothing out of the ordinary. Our sex life could be better but that is because of medication I am on for epilepsy.My problem is that I am extremely attracted both emotionally and sexually to our mutual friend and she feels the same about me. She is a pre-op male to female Transgender which isn't an issue for either of us. We flirt outrageously via email and instant message service as she lives in another country. But she is coming to visit us this year and I am concerned that we might both do something we will regret.How can I resist the temptation? I won't leave my partner as I am very much in love with her and have never even considered having an affair before but the urge to be with our friend is so strong .Please advise me ...I really don't know what to do so we don’t end up in bed together.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): At this point I would not allow her to come visit. If the temptation is that hard now, then face to face meeting will end up in a sexual relationship. I would let her/him know how you feel but that you are in love with your partner and not interested in having an affair.
A
male
reader, Mr.Ed +, writes (17 January 2006):
 Try talking to your current partner about what it is that is lacking in your sexual agenda. Tell her honestly what your want; what you desire, and see if maybe she could find a way to accomodate you. If (and I suspect she does) trully love you; your ability to express yourself sexually will allow her to feel needed. Don't be harsh about what you want, just explain that you are taking preventive measure against a weird feeling that your not understanding. She has ample time to react and prepare for a way to meet your needs. Even if your kinky or weird; usually a lover would like to see how far they can accomodate their partner; than to ever hear the words, I've cheated on you. Good luck through honest communication.
Sincerely
Ed
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