A
female
age
36-40,
*i_the_tree
writes:Hi guys, this isn't a relationship question, but i'm sure you will do your best to help me out.Ok, here goes. My mum is the most amazing person I've ever known, we have been best friends ever since Dad (her husband) died in 2001. She has always done her best to help me out as much as possible, even when times are hard.Now I'm a very independant person, I have always had a job and earned my own money, I have paid my way for the last couple of years, at least this was until i left my job before the summer this year. I had intended to pick up another job fairly quickly, but this didn't pan out the way i hoped it would. So now, i am broke, still looking for a job and have applied for Jobseeker benefits, as i have no income whatsoever. I hate asking my mum for money (even for £10 for petrol) as i can't continue to borrow from her long term.Because my last job paid pro rata, when i left i got 2 extra paychecks, one for July and one for August. Plus they gave me £1000 bonus for covering a staff members absence. This left me with funds to live on whilst i looked for work over the summer. But now the money is gone. I'm left with bills to pay and no income and nothing in the bank.Now i'm also doing a college course which i thought was free for me, but there had been a mix up and now i owe them £900. I am also currently trying to pay off a credit card (which i cut up AGES ago) which i now can't manage. Naturally i confided in mum about my finacial worries, and she said she would come to the bank with me, to try and sort something out. So, at the bank, my mum basically agrees to pay off my loan (which was done there and then), my credit card (which she'll do in a couple of weeks) and she has also said she'll pay my £900 course fee.With these 3 payments, she will have spent a whopping £2000 paying things off for me!!! How the hell am I supposed to repay her. I mean, she didn't have to do this for me. As i still have no money right now, I can't buy her a gift or anything. Is there anything i can do to show her how much i appreciate what she has done for me?? Any ideas??
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female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (29 October 2010):
fi_the_tree is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks very much guys for your answers. Yes i will be doing lots of housework and cooking over the next few weeks!!! Even offered to wash her car.....in winter!
She already knows that i'm grateful for what she has done, and thank you to everyone for their lovely comments aswell. I owe her big time, and you guys have given me plenty of ideas, i will probably make her a 'thank you card' and when i get a bit of money together, give her a gift voucher for a spa or something similar.
Thanks again everyone xx
A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (28 October 2010):
 She is your mum. She actually doesn't want any thanks other than that you are ok and happy. I have a son who is 14, and a daughter who is 2. If I had to pay out £2,000 to make them happy, and I had that money, I would forget about it the second I gave it to them. When your children are small, they drop things on the floor, they write on walls, they do things and make mistakes while they are finding out how things work.
In a way, this is what you are still doing - you have ended up in a bit of a situation, through a bit of bad luck and no real fault of your own (ok, you ran up the credit card, but they are horrible things and hopefully you have learnt yr lesson with that). As a mother I myself feel that whether I am giving my energy to pick up a whole bag of marbles that my daughter dropped on the floor, or £2,000 to sort out her problems, it is one and the same. Money is just money ... it comes and goes. Your mum wanted to get you straight, sorted and settled, so that you could sleep easy and concentrate on getting yourself trained and getting a job. She wanted to give you a clean slate, and she could, so she did.
Repay her by doing your absolute best on this course, and being sensible with whatever money you have, and cooking her dinner some times, and just by loving her, hugging her and showing her how much she means to you. By being there, and being with her. You are the living embodiment of your dad, you are his immortality, and I imagine your mum knows that. He lives through you; you are you, but you are also him, and her. Her love for you is something elemental, and I guess she would do anything for you. And a parent's love is not the sort that expects anything back. Just by breathing you are giving back.
I hope your course goes really well, and that you go on to great things. And I'm glad you have your mum, and that she has you.
nx
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A
male
reader, mrvhappy +, writes (28 October 2010):
Your mum sounds wonderful.
You can repay her by making dinner/washing up, cooking, cleaning, hoovering/taking out the rubbish, take her shopping and ironing all the clothes in the house.
Just to make sure that you do these properly and to a good standard, why dont you come over to my place to practice...I am firm but fair!!..lol ;D
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A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (28 October 2010):
 You are already giving her the best gift she has ever had and ever will. And you are doing this by being her best friend and her loving daughter.
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (28 October 2010):
 Repay her by doing your best on your course. Work really hard to make something of yourself and make her proud. It is hard to get started in life, especailly when you have financial worries. Your mum obviously cares about you and wants to help you do your best. She must be able to afford bailing you out, so try not to feel too bad. But of course you don't want her to feel you've taken advantage.Why not suggest that you help her out with errands or chores around the house, to make up for her helping you out? In the long term, once you have got yourself sorted financially, you can pay her back financially. I'm sure she understands the situation. Obviously she knows you are flat broke or she wouldn't have bailed you out. So she's not gonna expect any gift of thanks. But then again a gift doesn't have to cost anything. If she likes handmade things, like meals, cakes, anything like that, you could make stuff for her. If she needs a room re decorating, you could offer to do that for her, as thanks, or do some gardening for her. Give her a manacure? Just generally let her know how grateful you are. Make her a card with a letter of thanks inside, explaining how grateful and thankful you are for her kindness and how you fully intend to work very hard at college and pay her back as soon as you are on your feet. Perhaps set a date when you will start to pay her back in installments. Perhaps £10 a week?She's your mum. She's a good one at that. She's helping her kid out of a bad spot, and she wouldn't do it if she didn't love you and think you deserved the help. Just prove her right and get yourself back on your feet.Good luck!
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (28 October 2010):
 its sad things like these happen and i am possitive you are not the only one! i myself got loaned £300 from my mum and paying her off but yes it s horrible having any money over due. I look after her animals for free or take her to garden shops she loves those lol. but all i can say is show your apprieciation and that you will pay her as soon as you can. perhaps go out with her for a day ok you cant buy things but perhaps take her to a gardens or go with her on a walk to her favourite place. or even just make a little picnic. if you have coloured paper or something you can make paper roses. put some effort into what ever you do to show her how you feel also a hug doesnt go a miss or even make her a meal or go over and clean her house. many things you can do for free just depends what you want to do. good luck aphex xx
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 October 2010):
 Well you are very lucky to have a mother that would do this for you and hun am sure she wouldnt have done it if she couldnt afford it, all you can do now is show her you appreciate it with love and affection, why not go around to hers one day a week and clean her house and make her dinner?
Keep looking for work at the moment and when you find a job maybe you can give her a tenner back a week i know this doesnt seem much but it is a start and also get on to the authorities about your social welfare payments and tell them to hurry it along as you have no income and you are struggling and dont no what else to do. Am sure there is a citizens advice place near you were you can talk to someone and ask them how you are meant to live on no income?
Just show your mother how much you care and remind her how thankful you are for what she has done for you.
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