A
female
age
30-35,
*outhernsweetie15
writes:So here's the situation...I'm the typical guy's girl... you know the one who always hangs out with guys all the time but who isn't really the tomboy? Yep, that's me. But here's my dilemma... I'm going to this new school this year because I just moved and I want to hang out with the guys because I don't like when girls are catty or gossipy and when I shadowed they were all REALLY GIRLIE (sure I'm not a tomboy but I'm definitely no girlie girl) and I just don't want to be surrounded by it... so I was wondering kind of two things...1. Well I'm kind of shy and I don't really know how to really befriend guys just right off the bat... I've always met my guy friends through people not like "oh can I sit here and hang out with you guys" type thing. Confusing, huh? Sorry... 2. When I hang out with the guys, I'm not allowed to say things like somethings about guys because they say (and I quote) I'm "just another dude." I want to hang out with the guys and do the dirty mudding and fun things but when I do they always see me as one of the guys... How can I still feel like a girl hanging with the guys? And how can I remind them every now and then that I AM a girl and not "just another dude?" (I know they don't mean to really hurt my feelings or anything but it just sucks... Help?)Thanks guys =]
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male
reader, Talksense  +, writes (22 July 2008):
 Ok has the other reader said, why don't you try hanging out with 1 or 2 girls, not all the girls are into gossipy and chattin about boys all the time. You might want to go to some activities where girls go and do stuff, instead hang out places where gossip girls go then you might find firls who you get on with and have a bit in common. You see you are now 15 and you have to start thinkin about now is the time that you may start becoming attracted to these boys that you wanna hang out with. You keep sayin that you're ot a Tomboy and that you are a proper girl if not a girlie girl, well if that's true you keep hangin out with boys you might have boys always associating you with 'one of the lads' tag and never get rid of it. You should be yourself first and foremost but Guys do like girls to be girls mostly and if you keep hanging out with them if you do happen to like one then the guy might not go out with you because of what the others will say. What i'm sayin is that it's coolt o hang out with a guy, but i don't think at this stage in your life you wanna be hanging out with a group of guys or you might make things a bit complicated for yourself, besides there are things that you will experience that you're better off talkin to other girls about that you can share together so it's important to try and find some decent honest girl-friends. Good Luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2008): Well if you're going to make friends with new people you don't have to follow the same pattern you have been with your old friends. I would suggest trying to make friends with some girls first actually, perhaps the ones who you notice are good friends with some boys (and not the horny-just-hanging-out-with-girls-to-look-good kind of boys). When you've made friends with them you can branch out and start talking to the boys as well and if you feel the girls you made friends with are too catty then move on and just ask the boys if you can hang out with them. Explain that you find the girls too gossipy for your tastes and I think they'll understand. :)
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