A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend says he has fallen in love with me, but because he has been hurt in the past he's scared. He has asked for some space to get his head together and decide what he wants to do. This was a week ago. I haven't called him at all since, but have sent just a couple of emails and txts to see if he's ok. I want to give him the space he needs, because I want him to come back to me basically, so I've decided not to contact him at all now. Is that the right thing to do? We were getting along really well, had never once fallen out or had an argument over anything. Things were dead good actually, and we were very obviously falling in love with each other - both of us. He has been through a lot in the past, so I know his fear is real and valid, but how can I reassure him that I'm not going to hurt him? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, mixedmetaphores  +, writes (12 November 2008):
The sad thing is that you can't. He will have to realize that on his own.
All you can do right now is let him have his space and let him decide if this is something he wants to pursue. Asking him for a decision will just drive him further away.
Just letting him know that you are here for him and letting him have his time speaks volumes for your kindness and commitment.
You know that old adage, if you love something set it free and if it is meant to be it will come back and be yours forever? It is so true!
A week is not that long. After a 2 or 3 weeks, I would check on him. After 2 or 3 months, you need to have a serious heart to heart or move on.
Good Luck!
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