A
male
age
30-35,
*an-of-questions
writes:All my best friends are female, and this majorly bothers my girlfriend, who has major trust issues. I was wondering if there was any way for me to effectively ease her worries or is this something she has to deal with herself?
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female
reader, Eilish +, writes (17 February 2011):
 Being a girl myself, I know this is frustrating. I had the same problem at the start of my relationship, I hated him hanging with other girls and never trusted him alone with them. But then I realized if he wanted to be with them, he could be. But he chose me instead. I just needed to come to terms with that, his reassurance was useful, but now I'm fine with it and I've even started to go out places with them all now! :) I think you just need to explain to your girlfriend the difference between friendship and a relationship. Let her know she can trust you no matter what. Tell her how much she means to you and how important she is. Let her know, keep the reassurance going and she should come round and accept this in the end, just like I did. xxx
A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (3 February 2011):
 This isn't about trying to convince her - you need to let her know that, once you've promised to be faithful, your word is your bond. Keep your promises in all other aspects of life. And if she's still going to be insecure, let her know it's insulting, and you won't listen to it, especially when you've been nothing but trustworthy.
Best way to not look guilty, especially when you aren't, is to refuse to engage in it. You can't prove a negative, and you shouldn't have to. Trying to reassure her too much is only going to feed into the problem.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (3 February 2011):
 I'm the same way. It's just easier to hang with girls because their not so competitive and so on. Let her know that you love her often and that what you two have could never be replaced. Also try not to mention any flirty comments made by them, she knows they happen and they are just for fun but she doesn't want to hear about them. After this and you have shown that you are faithful it really becomes her issue to get over. You could be an amazing bf and she may still be jealous but in the end she can't pick and choose your friends.
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