A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my girlfriend for three years now, and have known her for 7. We got together pretty young (we've liked each other since the age of twelve), and she feels like the spark in our relationship has started to fade. She misses the "exciting" feeling that we had when we were younger. We've decided to go on a break to try and add some drama and newness to our relationship. We are still having sex, and still love each other, but aren't "together". The question I have is: how can I re-light the "spark" that we once had? Do I date around a lot? Do I distance myself from her and play hard to get? Please help, I love her more than life itself and would do anything to make this work.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009): Try dating other girls so you can learn that there can be other girls you can be with.
As for the excitement, you could ask your gf about the times she seemingly got turned on out of the blue -
For each time:
Where did you go?
What things did you and her say?
What were the things you did?
What feelings did she go through and what triggered each one?
Etc, etc, etc
Write this stuff down and retread these 'maps'. She should get turned on if you correctly identified the factors.
All the best
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