A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hopefully this isn't too small of a matter to bother you with but regadless if it is well or poorly placed, I have confidence that I could get a relationship started fairly quickly if I could find my girlfriend and hopefully wife but I'm not certain where I could meet her since I was too serious of a student in college and came out with just a degree rather than a wife and a degree.I CANNOT social network worth my life so dating websites have been a massive disappointment for me and I only have a handful of activity ideas that I might enjoy where I could meet a ladyfriend. Most female-centric activities I'm just not interested in except two that I can think of ? I like community service groups, I would like to learn how to cook properly So I don't keep eating pre made garbage for health reasons, and in spite the fact that I am deciding between Christianity and Eastern Spirituality I am still a man with strong moral beliefs and I am willing to attend a church, dojo, yoga, or new age center once I have made my decision. Despite being moral and spiritual, I still play the electric gitaur, go to Rock and Country concerts and even go to the bars sometims as long as I DON't do one of three things drugs, hooking up with random women and never seeing them again, nor getting blasted drunk which almost made it difficult to have a social life earlier.Any Ideas on where I can meet a woman who I am compatible with? I wouldn't throw away a woman who had extra-relational sex in the past, I'm just a monogamous man myself. _
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (12 October 2012):
 "I wouldn't throw away a woman who had extra-relational sex in the past, I'm just a monogamous man myself"
If this means that you don't want to date cheaters, I am backing you up. Do not date cheaters. It is a red flag.
Other than that... you just need to get started on being social. Talk to people, talk to women. There's no purpose in having found a "wife" in college (you talk about it almost as if a wife is a nice accesory, and not a person). You can meet a woman after college and marry later.. there's no dead line. Maybe you'll meet someone in 10 years time who will be worth marrying. For now you shouldn't focus so much on finding a wife, you need to find a girlfriend and learn how to flirt and be social. Then think about marriage after you've been in a relationship for a while. I strongly suggest you are in a relationship for at least a year and a half before you propose to anyone.
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (12 October 2012):
 You already know what you should do, you just are not doing it yet! Go on a cookery course, if you dont meet someone on that particular course go on another one. Go to Yoga or pilates, you dont need to belong to a particular faith to do that and there will be mostly women at these activities so you cant go wrong there! Joining a gym isnt a bad idea, if you like to stay fit and healthy it is good for both your body, and being around lots of women!
At the rock concerts and bars you go to, try talking to women that you see there. I know you dont want to hook up with random women, but chatting to them and possibly exchanging numbers is no bad thing! All you have to do is strike up a conversation about the band, buy her a drink and then from there it will be obvious if you click or not. If there is no connection then dont try and force the conversation, move on and talk to another woman.
You are doing the right things already, and thinking the right things, you just need to push yourself to make the move and talk to women that you see while you are out.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 October 2012):
 the best place to meet people who you are compatabile with is at places you do things you like doing.
cooking classes
yoga classes
whatever you are interested in, make it so... go to classes... do not go specifically to meet someone, rather go to enrich YOUR life and have fun... be OPEN to meeting both men as friends and WOMEN as FRIENDS... and from there things will develop as they are supposed to.
BEING DESPERATE to meet someone is so obvious and such a turn off....
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