A
female
age
36-40,
*attieC
writes:Im no longer the girl he fell in love with.Ive known my boyfriend for years, we became very good friends at uni then we became a couple about 9 months ago. I have always been a happy sunshine positive person and that is what he knew me as. However the last, I would says 4 or 5 months have taken there toll.1- moving back home after uni, I don’t have a good relationship with my mother and she is often critical and controlling which I find very upsetting, it has been know for her to have an ‘episode’ in front of my boyfriend. 2- I lost my childhood horse very suddenly 5 months ago, its something I am still coming to terms with and have no been able to ride since and still get tearful about it. 3- I started a job 4 months ago which although I very much enjoy it sees me travelling a lot, being out the house from 7am to 8pm with a time consuming commute. A boss who rings me evenings and weekends and work often which needs to be completed at the weekends meaning I find it hard to switch off4- I have been on the pill for about 4 months and find I can suffer from exaggerated moods occasionally5- I suffered an iron deficiency due to a poor diet at uni which has been rectified and iron levels have returned to normal but I still suffer from tiredness6- I find I never have time to myself as working long hours means I am worn out and lethargic7- One of my grandparents is unwell at the moment and its causing a lot of tension in the family8- At home I find there is a lot of sibling rivalry as my older brother tends to get more “perks” such as the use of my dads care with no cost whereas I bought my own car and all expenses are on me9- As all of my friends are still at uni I rarely socialise outside my work and boyfriend which makes me feel isolated and overly dependantWow even writing all this down I feel better slightly. I suppose what im asking is how can I put all these things to one side and become more happy and level headed again? I want to do this not just for myself but for my boyfriend too who I am very much in love with but I am aware that I am not the same person he fell for initially due to all these factors which have appeared in my life recently. Also how can I show him that I am trying to put these things to one side and show him how much he means to be as he as been my rock recently? and that’s something that scares me saying as even though im in my early 20s I think he is the first person I have let see the “real me” and allow myself to be vulnerable around him and what to show him how thankful I am to have him.
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fell in love, the pill Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mammaboo  +, writes (25 November 2011):
 Its just been a bad time for you recently but you can change this with some positve thinking for yourself. Instead of saying you are not the girl he met and fell in love with, say you are the girl he fell in love with and alot more mature and hard working.You are hard working because you are building a future.The pill is something you can change at your docs because it may not be suiting you, and you can have vitamin supplements to perk up your vitality.To deal with tension caused through family issues take some time for yourself in the hot tub candles chocolate and your favourite soapy bubbles.Say to yourself you are your own person and i love me and my boyfriend loves me and i love him.
A
female
reader, Jessi4j  +, writes (25 November 2011):
I think you ate just looking at the negatives... Like you said you felt better after typing it. Imagine how good you'd feel if you actually TALKED to someone about it all... Think if the positives in life though. It can sometimes e hard to think of any with so many negatives cousing your vision but one could be you boyfriend... Try and concentrate on the positives an just accept the negatives! Hope i helped x
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