A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've known this one amazing, beautiful, funny, intelligent woman for four years now and have never been able to stop thinking about her. We actually dated for four months back when we first met at the end of sophomore year but the timing and other factors just weren't right. Well, about four months after we broke up, she started dating another guy and I remained single. After the first couple of months after the break-up, I did "get over her", but not to the point where I didn't think about her at least once in a blue moon.Anyway, the guy she dated after me emotionally and physically abused her the entire two years they were together. Last year, we had English 101/103 in senior year together and when she came to class with a bruise on her face (the first one I'd ever seen on her), I wanted to tear her boyfriend limb from limb for even touching her! She is such a beautiful woman and so kind that she should never have a bruise or a cut grace her features. It's truly disgusting to me that someone like her ex could think of doing that to her. In fact, no woman should ever have to go through that.Well, just recently (a month ago), we started dating again and I know I've never been more happy in my life. My plan is to never let her go. As for her, I know she's into me. She tells me almost every day that she never thought she would be with someone as respectful and as wonderful as me and she wondered why we broke up in the first place. I am modest about all of that but I can admit that I am ten times the man her ex could ever be. My issue here now is that I'm not sure how to pursue more things with her. I mean this emotionally and sexually.I feel like if I let my hands stray anywhere near her waist area and I don't intend on just hugging her, that she'll start freaking out. This almost happened last week: I was going to try to finger her while we were standing up and she violently stepped back away from me and said, "No (ex-bf's name)!" I was highly confused and a little shocked. I don't want her to keep going through this, I care about her way too much! I just don't know how I could pursue anything like that without her losing it. Should I just give it a lot more time and be a little cautious when she is finally ready to give it a go? Because I am honestly willing to wait years upon years for her to be ready.What should I do?
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female
reader, michele21 +, writes (21 April 2009):
 you know from everything you have expressed you seem like the perfect guy...u already have it all figured out you don't need advice...just give her time she was physically and mentally abused and its going to be hard for her at first but time heals all wounds they say....just have her try to talk about it maybe that will clear it off her mind some....just let her know your there for her anytime and no matter what you always will be when she is willing and ready....good luck seems like she makes you happy
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