A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How do I prove to my girlfriend that I'm not watching porn? She worries that she's not enough for me, we've been together for nearly 2 years and I want to be with her forever, but can't move forward until I feel like she's ready to be with me. Porn is the biggest issue but I don't ever watch it. She had an ex who had a big problem with pornography and left her very shaken and suspicious. They were together for nearly 3 years and he would hide it and lie to her about it, meanwhile he was getting in trouble at his job for his at-work porn use and eventually had an affair with another woman, telling my girlfriend that she wasn't wild enough in bed. Needless to say this left her a bit shaken and I came in a few months later and fell in love, now I am left to clean up this asshole's dirty work and make her see that not all men are dishonest and not all men are interested in porn. I have not watched porn since I was a curious 12 year old boy, but she won't believe me.We do not yet live together, but will move in soon. She has access to all my email accounts and I am transparent with everything in my browsing history, my cell phone, etc. But she thinks I am somehow "hiding" my pornography. I have shown her and reassured her many times that I love her and am not interested in watching other couples having sex. I want to be with her but I want us to be happy and I think her issues are getting worse because she is becoming more invested in the relationship and is afraid of being hurt by me. I'd never do that. I am at my wit's end with all of this, it is the only big problem we have and it's completely beyond my control. I don't want to lose her, but her paranoia is starting to ruin us. For the record, I have never been dishonest with her or given her a reason to mistrust me, all of this baggage stems from her previous experiences.Help me, Dear Cupid.
View related questions:
affair, fell in love, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (6 January 2010):
You need to ask her why she's so insecure about it and doesn't trust you, even though you have tried to reassure her. Get her to open up about why she really feels the way she does.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2010): Hello. It sounds as if youve done everything you can to reassure your partner. I certainly cant think of anything else you could do to earn her trust! I understand your concern as it appears she is single handedly ruining the relationship. Youve gone beyond the call of duty by giving her access to your email accounts and phone. No one should have to do that. There is such a thing as personal privacy for goodness sake!
Maybe its time to take back some control of things and be firm with her or risk becoming the whipping boy for her ex`s behaviour. If she wants a happy future with you, she needs professional help to recover from the past. And she needs to trust and appreciate you for being so understanding and patient. You must love her very much.
My advice would be to show her your post here. She needs a wake up call or she will drive you away.
...............................
|
