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male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: Ok, I'm 15 years old and dating the girl of my dreams. We've been together about 5 months, but we both agree that it seems like we've known each other forever (in a good way). Unfortunately I haven't seen her in a month and we started fighting. It began a week and a half ago when I asked her if she wanted to take our relationship "to the next level" as in making out. I was a jerk and tried pressuring her a little bit, and we didn't talk the next day. Finally I told her how sorry I was and that I shouldn't care about anything except our love. I told her that I loved her and that she was the only girl in the world for me. She accepted the apology, but deep down I know I really need to prove to her that the only thing I want is her love. Can you please help a guy who screwed up out? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Odds  +, writes (13 July 2010):
 If it's going to get back to normal, it should do so partway through your next date. If it's still awkward after spending an hour or two with her in a date-like setting, odds are pretty good the relationship is over.
That's not your fault, mind you - you haven't done anything wrong, except apologizing when you shouldn't have. She may already have decided to move on, and just be going about it very slowly.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2010): I haven't seen her in a month because we've both been on vacation. She did say no, but I wasn't groping her or anything, just talking over the phone about it. How long do you think it'll take for Our relationship to go back to normal?
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (8 July 2010):
You need to back off a little yourself. What you are feeling is infatuation, as your body releases hormones that literally addict you to her presence. This is the "known her forever" feeling at work.
You don't have anything to apologize for anything. On a practical level, asking for the relationship to advance is usually a turn-off, but her reaction was completely out of line. You weren't pressuring her, you were moving things forward naturally. Rule of thumb: if you are willing to take "No" for an answer the first time, you're not pressuring her.
You don't need to prove that the only thing you want is her love. If anything, be willing to make a move next time the opportunity arises. However, avoid being emotionally smothering; the "all you need is love" stuff sounds wonderful, but too much devotion early on is a turn-off.
And remember, at your age, you can afford to move on if things get too awkward, or if your needs are not being met. If you work things out with her, good for you; if not, plenty of other girls out there.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (7 July 2010):
 You sound like a considerate guy. I don't think you did anything terribly wrong. You asked her if she wanted to take it to the next level, you didn't mention here if there was a yes or no. She apparently didn't refuse you but felt you were too aggressive or something. It takes two people to adjust each other's pace. Young girls can get extra sensitive to guys touching because way too many girls had been used physically. You already apologized. Accept the fact that what's done is done. If she still has issues about this then it's about her not you. Don't be too hard on yourself. You don't want to give the girl too much upper hand. Don't know why you haven't seen her in a month. It seems to me you are doing too much to fix it when there seems to be more issues other than you coming on too strong for her. Issues that are out of your control.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2010): Ok, im 15 too and me and my boyfriend have been going through the same problems. He pressured me, i didnt feel comftable with it all and obviously was upset by it, but in the end he apologized and we got talking again. If it helps, my boyfriend has been coming to see me near enough everyday, he's been buying me presents, taking me on dates, just generally treating me like a princess. Every girl likes it when guys take them on dates to the park, cinema, restraunt etc. I hope this has helped you, and good luck :-)
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