A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi GuysIm in such a dilemma. I broke up with my ex, because he is getting married to the woman he made pregnant. When we dated he told me she was an ex, but later found out she was pregnant by his baby. The problem now is that I cant seem to get over him. I have been trying but I get these obsessive thoughts in my mind.... where i miss him profusely. We decided to break up before Christmas and I left for a holiday... while I was on holiday he started to call me over and over again and when i came back we got back together. Stupid me I never asked anything. I just went with the flow. He pulled out after 2 days and told me that he is getting married... The problem is I have never seen this woman, which makes me reluctant to losing him...He kept visiting me coz I asked if we can remain friends. What would happen is when he visits me he would still want to be mushy with me, he will hold me kiss me and do all these confusing acts. He wd sometimes call me like we are still dating. The last time i was with him was on Thursday. He came to see me. L8r i sent him an sms and told him i dont like him touching me or trying to kiss me coz its confusing and i want to be able to move on. Since then he started ignoring my calls. He doesnt want anything to do with me....I was begging him to open to me and tell me how he feels about me his thoughts.... my mind is obsessing about a lot of things.... its questioning if he is really in love with the woman that he could marry him whereas ive never seen anything.I want to know if he thinks about me, if he has ever been in love with me.Another problem is that I don't know other people around him. He is not a people's person. I am always tempted to do a research on him but i lose courage.... Do you think finding out from other people will be a good way to go.... should I just forget about this guy.... how can i prevent my mind from obsessing
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male
reader, Dagwood  +, writes (22 January 2007):
 Jovial is right. Forget about this man! He's made it clear that he's going to marry someone else and have a child with this person. Knowing the lady will not change anything. Trying to find out more information about him or his friends will just make you hurt more. To put it simply he’s not available. My advice is to take a big step away. Don't call or see him and if he contacts you ask him why he’s contacting you and that you’d prefer it if he did not. I don't think you'll find it easy to be friends with him right now as he means more to you than that. You can't pretend to be someone’s friend when you love them. Try not to think about him (I know it’s hard!), go out with your friends, do things that you enjoy doing. Think about what you really want in a relationship and concentrate on all the positive aspects of your life. Don't live in hope, you need the closure. We all desire people in out lives but we don’t need them in order to live. Have courage & take care.
A
female
reader, Jovial +, writes (22 January 2007):
 I think u need to just let him go, the guy knows which button to push to get what he wants. and unfortunately u are letting him win. i also think you are searching for closure and the truth is you will never get that from him he is not ready to give u that all he wants is to have no string attached thing with u while he marry the so called pregnant girlfriend.
i dont think you should worry if the woman exist or not whether there will be marriage or not just take his word for it and move on, lets say he is lying there is no pregnant woman do you want to be with a man who lies to you just to get u off? believe me u dont deserve such disrespect. stop calling him he has stopped which means he doesnt want u anymore, u might even find that he is ignoring knowing that you will go after him so wipe that smug and get your life back he will think twice before he calls u again. good luck
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